Turkey Day 2009: The Hunt for Pumpkin Pie

i went to Corsicana this weekend for the holidays and i am going to tell you about my journey. so buckle up kids.

for the past two Thanksgivings, i stayed in Austin because i had to work on the following Friday so it seemed a bit impossible to fly back to Montana. during my senior year of college, i decided to stay in Missoula for the holiday break, in part, because i had to go home the following weekend for my mom's wedding so there was no real need to go home twice in a month.

so i'm used to not being around family during the holiday season. it doesn't bother me. last year, i spent Turkey Day 2008 hanging out with Max, eating some turkey, buying a phone charger and (according to her) bombarding my new girlfriend with text messages.

this year, Chastity asked me to come home with her for the holidays and so off to Corsicana we went.

first off, holiday traffic sucks. it took us about three hours to get to frickin' Waco (and we still had another 60 miles or whatever until we got to Corsicana). i could walk to Waco in less than three hours. about an hour into the idle driving situation, i longed for Montana as the great state of Montana is a place where you get places fast on the highway. that state has no idea what a traffic jam is.

anyways, we got to Corsicana and it was a good time. i like Chastity's parents and her sister and they're always good to me so it was fun to be around them for a few days. we had two dinners, one at Chastity's house and one at Chastity's cousin's place. it was a LOT of good food and there was football on the television so it was a win/win situation for me. plus, i think Chastity's family likes me so i think that's a "point, Davis" right there.

i went into the holiday break in a bit of a predicament as... well, this was going to be my first Thanksgiving in which i wasn't surrounded by a bunch of white people. why is this significant you ask? because, as i was taught by a girlfriend who was bewildered that i didn't know this, African-Americans apparently don't eat pumpkin pie. i love pumpkin pie. love it. it's great. throw on a slab of whipped cream on a nice slice of pumpkin pie and my tastebuds are singing the Hallelujah song (the happy "HALLELUJAH!!!" song that is in the corny commercials, not the hauntingly great Jeff Buckley version).

so for dessert at our first dinner, i had some sweet potato pie. and it was alright. i enjoyed it. it still wasn't pumpkin pie. but... Chastity's parents surprised me at the second dinner with a pumpkin pie that they bought for me and, once again since African-Americans don't eat pumpkin pie, that was a whole pie that i had to myself. point, Davis.

but yea, things did get a little interesting in Corsicana. in fact, there was a death and some ruined furniture.

after our first dinner Chastity and i headed back to her house while her parents went to drop off some leftovers for some friends and family members. unfortunately, one of the family members they went to deliver food to was found by Chastity's parents in his car, barely alive. 911 was called but the man died a few hours later.

i don't know what more to say about it.

at Chastity's home, i stayed in her old bedroom, which had been transformed into her grandmother's room when her grandmother lived there. sometime during my stay, i wanted to charge my phone so i unplugged the plug-in air freshner and placed it on the dresser, which was an old-school piece of furniture that her grandmother owned. yea, the hot part of the air freshner burned a permanent divot into the furniture and, since i laid it on its side, the air freshner juice leaker over the dresser which caused a sticky mess. so, negative point Davis.

other highlights from the trip: i watched on TV as a bunch of artists (and John Stamos!) didn't even try to act like they weren't lip-syncing at the Macy's parade, i covered a game on Friday across the street from Chastity's high school, i helped set up a printer and i went shopping at a mall in Dallas and saw the Stanley Cup.

so that was Thanksgiving.

gobble gobble.

Jay Sean, one of the worst lip-syncer at the parade, play us out.

Enterprise, i'd prefer if you didn't pick me up

a few days ago, the Luke Wilson AT&T advertisement got a shoutout as a prelude to my Ode to Lady Gaga.

i am a huge critic of TV commercials which is odd since i love to watch me some crappy TV shows. but if a commercial sucks, it will influence how i view the product which is why i rarely eat at Subway (suck it, Jared). a sucky commercial can also influence how i view somebody. Chris Berman the annoying "journalist" doesn't bother me. Chris Berman, the douche who is a spokesperson for both Applebees and a weight-loss program does.

i will never rent a car from Enterprise. why? well, i'd like to show you but i couldn't find the advertisement on the YouTube. so i will just tell you about my beef with Enterprise.

if you've watched TV in the last three years, you've seen the commercial with a guy and his wife packing for a weekend getaway. the wife brings in some sexy clothing and says "red or black" and dude replies with a douchetastic grin "both."

i hate this commercial.

the correct answer isn't "both". it isn't "black" and it isn't "red." it's "neither"! the point of a weekend getaway isn't to put on more clothing! c'mon Enterprise, it isn't enough that you drive around cars with wrapping paper covering the windows (which has to be a clear violation of some kind of driving law) but your pervy sexual innuendos aren't even realistic.

ugh.

oh, and i use a Mac for work and i used a Mac for four years at the Kaimin. those commercials are full of crap.

Marvin Gaye, play us out.

Afro Man, she is not

first off, happy turkey day.

second off, i went and saw Law Abiding Citizen the other night and i'm going to give it a $5 rating. it's one of those movies that you'll really enjoy but you'll walk out of the theater wondering how anything Gerard Butler or Ray Charles did was realistic.

third off, i am tired of hearing about how the economy is hurting normal people who aren't celebrities. shut up mr. factrory worker because my sympathies are being saved for crappy actors like Luke Wilson. there are apparently no roles left for Mr. Wilson so he's been relegated to doing AT&T advertisements in an effort to make ends meet. tough life.

fourth off, i've never had AT&T but i'll imagine that is sucks as much as Verizon does. and don't even get me started on Alltel. whatever happened to the days of Cellular One?

alright, the main meal on this Turkey Day post is the subject of music.

every once and again, a song will come on the radio that has no business being on the radio. but the song is catchy and, before you know it, the song is being played every other minute and is appearing among the Top 25 songs played on your iTunes playlist. it happens.

but these artists usually fade into obscurity because the general public realizes that these hacks have no talent. there is a reason that no one has heard from Afro Man since 2001.

in all honestly, i thought this was going to happen to Lady Gaga.

a year ago, when Lady Gaga came out with Just Dance, i couldn't understand why she was on the radio. Lady Gaga was just some chick that dressed oddly and i thought the song was just another anthem for women wanting to behave badly. i didn't think Gaga didn't have much staying power since she was neither attractive nor talented.

i was wrong.

well, i was wrong about her not being talented. granted, the girl is weird. but she is talented and everything she puts out is a hit.

she released Poker Face. i initially thought the song was crap. now it's a mainstay on my iPod.

she released Paparazzi. i initially thought the song was crap. now i find myself humming the song at work.

she just released Bad Romance. i think the song is crap. i know i'll eventually memorize the lyrics.

i don't know what it is about her but i officially love me some Lady Gaga.

Mandy Moore, play us out.

i need some new clothes

before i start, i want to give a selfish plug to a story i wrote last week. i'm proud of this story so you should read it.

yesterday was a bit of a sad day.

actually, it wasn't that bad. i covered the Lake Travis and Pflugerville games (more selfish plugs) in San Antonio and i got to hang out downtown with Chastity. so my day wasn't awful, it just got started on a bad note.

i was getting ready for the day and since UM was playing MSU, i planned to rock my Montana sweatshirt. but... unfortunately, the ol' sweatshirt is getting a big tattered and my tattered i mean i can't wear it anymore. there are various grease spots, random stains and the fabric on the sleeves is so worn out that it has a see-through vibe going on.

it's sad because i love that sweatshirt as it's comfy and it supports my roots. i bought it nearly two years when i was in Missoula for Honrud's wedding so i guess it's had a nice run. so R.I.P. sweatshirt, the UM Bookstore will be hearing from my wallet soon.

since my sweatshirt has been downgraded to inside-the-apartment-only status only, i started to think about some of the clothing in my closet. i have a bunch of clothes in my closet that i no longer wear that are just taking up space in various boxes and sweatshirts. and being since i don't really need my Animal House-style "College" t-shirt anymore, i am going through my old clothes and i will be making a trip to Goodwill.

i (well, Chastity) also think i might need a new style. the days of a polo, sweatshirt, shorts and $20 JC Penney's jeans may need to come to an end. maybe i'll bleach my hair. and maybe i'll start wearing plaid.

and while we are talking about retiring things, in addition to retiring my sweatshirt this weekend, i also had to hang up my glove and softball bat.

yip, there is no more intramural softball on the 2009 calendar.

this past season was interesting as the Ball Bustas didn't play together and only a few of us joined up with a team called "Team Stepdad." Team Stepdad had an alright season as we went 3-4 and lost an extra-inning game in the first round of the playoffs.

i'll miss having intramural softball on my schedule every Thursday so i guess i will just kill time training for next season. by the time next February rolls around, i will be hitting home runs out of the ballpark like Barry Bonds.

Shakira, play us out.

well, who is going to tell me what to read now?

Kate Moss, if you are reading this, i have a couple of words for you. so you said that "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"? you have obviously never had Shells and Cheese. that stuff is delicious.

but enough about skinny models, i'd like to talk about the Big O (and i ain't talking about Oscar).

true story, that precipitation hitting the Austin area today? well, that's not rain, it's actually the collective tears of semi-decent authors and hack doctors across the country. yes folks, Oprah is leaving her television show in 2011 (yea, i know, only Oprah could cause a splash with an announcement for something two years away) and when Oprah gives away her last car, the world as we know will cease to exist.

now i could wax poetic about Oprah but i'm not going to because O is filthy rich so she doesn't need to add my golden words to her treasure chest. all i know, is that i am planning a vacation to Chicago around September of 2011. can you imagine how awesome her last show is going to be? if she gives out cars for a normal episode, what the hell is she going to give away during her last show? houses? boats? Halle Berry blow-up dolls? that show is going to be her best show ever... well, second best behind this one.

Oprah is an institution and i love the city of Chicago. so where does Oprah land of my list of the best things about Chicago? let's fiiiiiiiind out.

10. Le's terrible taste in sporting teams
9. You're The Inspiration
8. The Jerry Springer Show
7. Oprah
6. Barack Obama
5. Chicago-style pizza
4. Kanye West
3. The Chicago Bulls
2. Native Son
1. Family Matters

Chicago, play us out.

Cat/Griz 2009, should i even care?

on Saturday, Montana and Montana State will take the field in Bozeman for their annual rivalry game. but if you have any connections to the state of Montana, you already knew that being as the "FTC" ("TC" stands for "The Cats", i'll let you figure out what the "F" stands for) and "Pooooooor Grizzlies" Facebook status have already started to sprinkle in and it will only become more abundant by the weekend.

this is the game that is marked on everyone's calendar. you grow up as either a Bobcat or a Griz fan (i was actually a 'Cat fan) and even those anti-football college students still care a little bit about the outcome of the game. the tickets to this game are scarce. i had to camp out overnight for tickets when the game was in Missoula during my sophomore and senior years. i got into the Bozeman-hosted game in 2005 only because Le had some connections.

heck, there is even a debate about whether it should be called the Cat/Griz or Griz/Cat game (it should be Cat/Griz because Griz/Cat doesn't roll off the tongue as well).

it's a big deal. but my question, is how big of a deal should i make it?

it's been about two and a half years since i stepped foot on the University of Montana campus. i keep track of the football games on Saturday but it's not like a Griz loss is going to ruin my day anymore. honestly, i care as much about the football players and coaches showing up in negative headline as i care about the team's championship hopes.

now i'm not trying to be Mr. Joe Cool Alumni and i'm not saying that i'm too old to root for the Griz because i'm not. however, i think that eventually people become too old to use a Griz loss as an excuse to drink. there comes a time when it's not cool anymore for a college-aged student to visit his high school anymore so when are you too old to proudly use the "FTC" chant?

so yea, when the Griz and Bobcats kick off on Saturday, i will be monitoring the game. there is a watch party for Austin-based UM alums somewhere in this city but, since i'm working in San Antonio this weekend, i'll be monitoring the game on my computer. i'll likely be wearing my Montana sweatshirt to show my support but i'm unsure if i'll be belligerently boisterous on my Facebook account.

awww, what the heck... FTC.

UM Marching Band, play us out.

stop reporting on Sarah, Carrie and the Browns!

oh k, this is a plea to my fellow media folks. quit covering people who don't deserve to be covered.

example 1: Sarah Palin. exactly what has this woman done besides sinking a political campaign and running out on her duties as governor of a non-important state? i mean, she isn't as ridiculously good-looking as Judy Martz was and, honestly, what is the point of her being around if Tina Fey isn't around to act like her on the SNL? news about Sarah Palin is about as good as an Owl City song.

example 2: Levi Johnston. the dude knocked up Palin's daughter and now he is a semi-nude semi-celebrity. why? news about Levi Johnson is about as good as a Taylor Swift song.

example 3: Jon and Kate. there is no way that those eight kids are going to end up normal since their parents are Douchebag Dad and the anti-Mother of the Year. can we just put those two in a steel cage match and not let them out until they've killed each other? news about Jon and Kate is about as good as a Nick Cannon song.

example 4: Carrie Prejean. so what exactly is so special about a beauty queen who hates gays, loves to pleasure herself on camera and thinks she's bigger than Larry King? i get that she's hot but there is only so much hotness one can stand before the annoyingness begins to gnaw away at our brains. news about Carrie Prejan is about as good as any song 50 Cent has put out in the last five years.

example 5: Rihanna. look, what happened to Rihanna was terrible and i think that Chris Brown got a ridiculously light punishment. but what has she done to be put in the same sentence as Michelle Obama? if anything, Rihanna is the anti-Woman of the Year, being as she was supposedly going back to Chris Brown and only wanted to tell her story when it benefited her album sales. news about Rihanna is about as good as a, well, Rihanna song.

example 6: the Cleveland Browns. last night i watched the Cleveland Browns play the Baltimore Ravens on Monday Night Football and i think i've honestly had more fun with explosive diarrhea. the Browns are awful and every time i read something about them i get more depressed so i'd appreciate it if the news would quit reporting on them because at this rate i'll be cutting myself while listening to The Fray by December. news about the Cleveland Browns is about as good as a Sean Kingston song.

i need to listen to some good music. Wilson Phillips, play us out.