oh k, here is my Sesame Street rant.
recently, Sesame Street celebrated its 40th anniversary and, in my opinion, the show has lasted about 21 or 22 years too long. why 22 years? because if that show has ended in say, 1987, i may have never been subjected to it's evilness.
evilness, you say? yes, Sesame Street was
sorry, i need to interrupt here. i am watching TV and i'm seeing Magic Johnson as a spokesman for Rent-A-Center. will Magic do anything for money? Magic Johnson has never stepped foot inside of a Rent-A-Center so why should i? you have enough money Magic, knock it off.
anyways, i was never a fan of Sesame Street. in fact, Guy Smiley had fun torturing me in my dreams until i was like 6. and by, in my dreams, i mean in real life. i often had legendary fights with the Smiley in the basement of the house on Poly and although i could never kill that bastard, he never killed me so i guess we'll call it a draw.
luckily, pneumonia did what my fists of fury couldn't and Guy Smiley disappeared from my dreams/basement around May of 1990. so, point me.
but yea, i still don't like Sesame Street. i feel that Big Bird should be cooking in my oven, i don't trust Bert or Ernie, i thought the Tickle Me Elmo craze was ridiculous and i can't do math well so that should show you how effective The Count was. however, i did always like Oscar the Grouch and, over the years, i have developed more respect for the Cookie Monster and what he stands for.
do you know what was a good show for the children of the 1980s and 90s? this was.
my hatred for Sesame Street isn't being revisited, however, because of the Street's recent anniversary. it's because of this song... which sounds like it belongs on Sesame Street and is being sung by Kermit the Frog. this song is terrible and since Lil' Wayne is going away to the jail, i guess we can expect to hear more of this crap on the radio.
at one point i wasn't alone in my Owl City hateration as one of Austin's popular morning shows shared my beliefs. but those damn lyrics about Fireflies and saving the world blew up the charts and The Bobby Bones Show sold out and now Owl City will be playing at the show's annual Christmas party.
so now i am alone, both in my dislike of the Sesame Street and the Owl City.
Norah Jones, play us out.
so i'm back after a long break. why the long break? maybe i've been super busy at work. or maybe i've been recovering from the awesomeness that was This Is It (an $8 rating in my book, that's Denzel territory!). or maybe i've been reflecting on the resolution to the Kaimin/Bobby Hauck drama.
regardless, i haven't blogged in nine days. so today i'd like to talk about the death penalty and the evils of Sesame Street.
this is the blog entry about executions.
i've never really understood the death penalty. first off, it seems ironic that our "justice" is doing essentially what got the condemned prisoner in trouble in the first place. secondly, it also seems like execution is giving the criminal an easy way out. i'd personally rather have the murderers rot in prison until they're 80 but that's just me.
anyways, the D.C. sniper was executed last night. i'm a bit surprised about how quick these executions took place because it seems like in Texas and Montana, people are executed 20 years after the convictions. but the time issue is not what this blog is about...
pardon my language but who the hell wants to watch an execution? how demented do you have to be to watch that thing? what kind of peace do you get watching a man die?
watching your loved one's murderer isn't going to bring your loved one back and i think you can trust that the government isn't going to pull off a fake execution if you aren't there. granted, i've been fortunate enough to not be put in this situation but, if i was, i wouldn't give that guy the time of day. i especially am not going to an execution if it's my loved one strapped on the table. i just don't see any point in going to an execution and if you like watching death so much, watch an episode of CSI: Miami because at least one person dies in every episode on that show.
even if Tom Hanks is the guy pulling the switch or it's Diddy getting executed, i am not putting an execution on my day planner. i'll read about it in the morning.
people need to move on and i don't see how watching a man die is going to give you any closure. honestly, the witnesses might be as sick as the people they are watching die.
but that's just my opinion.
Puffy/P. Diddy/Sean Combs, play us out.
i've got five things to talk about today and it would have been cool if Subway or Lou Bega would have sponsored this post. anyways, let's roll.
1. last night was date night and Chastity and i went to Paranormal Activities (spoilier: the movie's exciting moment is shown at the 1:30 point of the trailer). it's a snoozer. Chastity was right in the fact that it was scary in the sense that what happened in the movie could happen in real life but there was seriously more excitement in the pre-movie trailer for the new DiCaprio movie. and the movie had a lot of handheld camera action which always makes me feel woozy. i rate it as a $1 movie on my scale.
2. the Tres is going to kill me. i nearly got into a car accident on Saturday when some jerk, who i am going to just assume was drunk, shot out of nowhere on the service road i was on and i had to brake and swerve in an effort to avoid hitting the dude and the douchetastic bright yellow vehicle he was driving. on my way to work today, i had to swerve into another lane to avoid some lady who was too impatient to sit behind a bus and luckily the guy in the lane next to be recognized what was going on and swerved so i didn't hit him. the bad this was if i was still in Maria, i'd be fine in a car accident. if i get taken out in the Tres, i might get to meet God a lot sooner than anticipated.
3. i saw a lot of Waldos and a lot of creatures from that Wild Things book on the Dirty 6th on Saturday night. i saw no Michael Jacksons, no Balloon Boys and no Billy Mayses. apparently no one in Austin keeps up with current events.
4. so Lil' Wayne is going to jail and i expect the music industry to immediately shrivel up. why? because that guy is everywhere. he's here. and there. and there. and here. and over there. and here. and here. and there. and here. seriously, the radio stations will just be playing something like Creed on a loop for the next year or so... which will lead to me going all Picasso and chopping off my ear.
5. and i'm saving my biggest rant for last.
so i heard this mentioned on the radio and this is why i hate the justice system. well, the notion that it's unfairly slanted against African-Americans is why i hate the justice system but this isn't helping matters.
now, i get that it's sad that this woman died and two kids are going to grow up without their mother. but c'mon. the DJs weren't forcing that water down that woman's throat. she was the one who kept drinking, she was the one who refused to go to the bathroom and she's the one that put her life in risk for a Nintendo Wii. there have been many times when i've chugged a lot of water in a short amount of time and have quit drinking because i felt a lil' woozy so i don't see why someone would keep drinking water if it was making them feel bad. sure, was it a bad idea to have a water drinking contest? probably. but last time i checked, that woman wasn't being forced to do anything.
but it's a lot easier to sue than to take responsibility. spill hot coffee in your lap? sue McDonald's for making hot coffee. some old lady in Texas just won a few thousand dollars because she was tazed even though she literally asked for it. and since Aquamom's family just won themselves a cool 16 million, you can expect to see a lot more of these lawsuits coming soon. hell, i might just sue you for not leaving a comment on this blog so tell your lawyer to expect a call from my lawyer.
i don't know this family but i already don't like them. i'm just going to hope that they act like so many people who suddenly inherit a lot of money... and by that i mean that i hope Daddy blows through the money in two years on stupid purchases and 20-year-old women. it's the American way.
Lil' Wayne, play us out.
i'm going to go ahead and rate Halloween 2009 as a success.
last night, Team Us went to a party at Chastity's friend's home and then went downtown for a few hours. i drank a few beers, watched some baseball, chatted with strangers, gawked at costumes (some interesting, some boring, some slutty and some awesome) and got to see Captain John wearing chaps. so yea, two thumbs up.
and in case there was ever any doubt, last night further reinforced the notion that i am always wrong and Chastity is always right.
we went the couples costume route and were dressed up as a pharaoh and a Cleopatra. i had originally scoffed at the idea of going as a pharaoh and had tried to convince Chastity to let me go as anything from a ninja turtle to Peter Pan.
but Chastity won out and a pharaoh i was. and, lemme tell ya, i was the hit of Halloween 2009. who had best costume at the party? this guy. and if i had a nickel for every time some random person wanted to take a picture of me/with me on sixth street, i would have woken up this morning with at least 35 cents. i was receiving high fives and getting "King Tut" shout-outs on 6th street which was a stark contrast to last year, where i think one person actually understood my awesome costume.
and i had a beautiful woman with a hip costume of her own with me so that was a plus too.
so Chastity was right and i was wrong. again.
however, all wasn't good on Halloween but in order to fully explain that, i've got to jump in the time machine and travel back about three years.
after my fellow interns left in August of 2007, i was somewhat of a loner. in fact, if it wasn't for me going to church with Leslie and tagging along with Captain John to all of his law school functions, it is doubtful that i would have ever gotten off the futon in my old, ghetto apartment.
but one day i heard an advertisement for the Austin Sports & Social Club and i signed up for some intramural softball. at the first game in February, i befriended three guys named Carlyle, Brandon and David and the Ball Bustas group was born. i had a group to hang out with and over the next few months our membership grew as Anna, Emily, Katie, Mike, MK, Seth, Kirk and a few others joined. last Halloween consisted of myself, David, Heather, Seth, Emily, Anna and Brandon going from bar-to-bar in search of drunken Halloween fun.
the last few years with the Ball Bustas have been fun... but Life occasionally throws in some diversions. Carlyle and Katie eventually moved away while Vanessa and Anna left to live with their long-distance boyfriends. Some members of the group began to drift apart either because they found new friends or because they couldn't stand other members of the group. While we started off a a group of mostly single members, over time most of us became involved in relationships so that took us away from the group.
Life has seemingly broken up the band. it happens.
so let's flash back to this Halloween. I was at a party hosted by my girlfriend's friend, David and Heather were camping, Anna was moving to Oklahoma, Mike was AWOL and i have no idea what Brandon, Emily or Seth were doing. it was kind of weird that i didn't see any Ball Busta down on the clusteryouknowwhat that was 6th street but i guess Life had different plans for us this year.
but aside from the absence of the Ball Bustas and the fact that i was proven wrong by my girlfriend, i had fun. i honestly don't know how much longer i am going to be able to participate in a Dirty 6th Halloween (even though i'm 24, at times, i felt like i was 40 last night), i had a good night.
i'm going to play us out with a different Black Eyed Peas song but first, look at this video for their new single. is this the first time that Fergie has ever looked somewhat hot? i think it might be.
BEP, play us out.
in case you're wondering - and i know you are - The Ruins fantasy season just wrapped up week five and i am atop the leaderboard. Team Velociraptors has a slim 585-538 lead over The Mighty Cucamongas. Team Velociraptors has nine players left while The Mighty Cucamongas has seven.
i will keep this post kind of short.
i saw this clip today and it got me all sorts of excited. granted, i want to see this movie and i want to see this movie but i reeeeeeeally want to see This Is It. i've heard good things about this movie and i think that this is going to be a good candidate for a weekend trip to the theater.
a short gripe here though. Mike has a posthumous single out there which sounds like an old school Michael slow jam... and i can't buy it on iTunes unless i buy the entire This Is It soundtrack. hey guess what? i'm already a MJ fan so i already own the songs on the album. i love me some Michael Jackson but i don't need two copies of Billie Jean on my iPod.
anyways, the song that Michael is rehearsing is the underrated Human Nature, which is a poem is song form. one of my top three Michael songs. i love it. so here is a countdown of 10 people not named Michael Jackson singing, playing or borrowing the Human Nature beat.
10. American Idol's Matt Giraud (slim pickings)
9. The Chipmunks
8. Mario
7. SWV
6. Soundz Fresh
5. Craig David
4. Boyz II Men
3. Alicia Keyes
2. John Mayer
1. Miles Davis
in honor of tonight's great South Park we'll have Lady Gaga play us out.
one thing that people might now know about me is that i do not like to fly.
sure, i've been on a moderate amount of flights in my day. since my senior year of high school i've flown to D.C. (twice), North Carolina, San Diego, Tampa, Nashville, Los Angeles, Missoula and i've flown to Billings like four times.
i just find flying to be an unpleasant experience. i hate checking in, i hate the security screening, i hate the in-flight beverages and i hate switching planes at the Denver airport. i really hate the Denver airport. i really, reeeeeeeeeeally hate the Denver airport.
flights are always somewhat dramatic for me. i've had severe delays, overnight stays and missed flights in the Denver airport. i've been stuck on a runway at some airport in Virginia. i've also lost my wallet in the Denver airport and had to wait outside in the snow to receive my carry-on luggage. once again, the Denver airport sucks.
even though i have an uncle who is a pilot, i was never a fan of flying. i was once so petrified to fly that i was breathing into a brown bag at takeoff and i always tend to stumble onto some TV special about plane crashes on the morning before i fly so i guess that doesn't help much either. i'm not as freaked out about airplanes now but if someone gave me the option of flying to Dallas and driving to Dallas, i'm jumping in the Mazda3 and i'll see y'all in roughly three hours.
why am i talking about flying? because of this story. i just don't see how this happens and the next time i fly, i am going to be convinced that as soon as we are in the air the pilots are either sleeping, hooking up, arguing or playing on their computers. i'll probably convince myself that they are finding a way to do all four activities simultaneously.
aside from the occasional bout of turbulence, i've never had any in-flight drama. in fact, the closest i've gotten was when i was in LA last summer, one of the flights that landed after i did had a crazy naked guy and members of a New England soccer team aboard.
i will promise you this, though, the first time some guy strips on my flight or i begin to hear inappropriate moaning from the cockpit (no pun intended), i will never fly again. the Mazda3 will be getting a lot of miles put on her.
oh, and i've decided to name the car either Laura (the joke was mentioned in an earlier post), the Mazda3 or The Tres. tough call.
Tom Petty, play us out. John Mayer is charging a cover at the door.
oh k, here is my Sesame Street rant.
