Got Money? well, just drink water to get some

i've got five things to talk about today and it would have been cool if Subway or Lou Bega would have sponsored this post. anyways, let's roll.

1. last night was date night and Chastity and i went to Paranormal Activities (spoilier: the movie's exciting moment is shown at the 1:30 point of the trailer). it's a snoozer. Chastity was right in the fact that it was scary in the sense that what happened in the movie could happen in real life but there was seriously more excitement in the pre-movie trailer for the new DiCaprio movie. and the movie had a lot of handheld camera action which always makes me feel woozy. i rate it as a $1 movie on my scale.

2. the Tres is going to kill me. i nearly got into a car accident on Saturday when some jerk, who i am going to just assume was drunk, shot out of nowhere on the service road i was on and i had to brake and swerve in an effort to avoid hitting the dude and the douchetastic bright yellow vehicle he was driving. on my way to work today, i had to swerve into another lane to avoid some lady who was too impatient to sit behind a bus and luckily the guy in the lane next to be recognized what was going on and swerved so i didn't hit him. the bad this was if i was still in Maria, i'd be fine in a car accident. if i get taken out in the Tres, i might get to meet God a lot sooner than anticipated.

3. i saw a lot of Waldos and a lot of creatures from that Wild Things book on the Dirty 6th on Saturday night. i saw no Michael Jacksons, no Balloon Boys and no Billy Mayses. apparently no one in Austin keeps up with current events.

4. so Lil' Wayne is going to jail and i expect the music industry to immediately shrivel up. why? because that guy is everywhere. he's here. and there. and there. and here. and over there. and here. and here. and there. and here. seriously, the radio stations will just be playing something like Creed on a loop for the next year or so... which will lead to me going all Picasso and chopping off my ear.

5. and i'm saving my biggest rant for last.

so i heard this mentioned on the radio and this is why i hate the justice system. well, the notion that it's unfairly slanted against African-Americans is why i hate the justice system but this isn't helping matters.

now, i get that it's sad that this woman died and two kids are going to grow up without their mother. but c'mon. the DJs weren't forcing that water down that woman's throat. she was the one who kept drinking, she was the one who refused to go to the bathroom and she's the one that put her life in risk for a Nintendo Wii. there have been many times when i've chugged a lot of water in a short amount of time and have quit drinking because i felt a lil' woozy so i don't see why someone would keep drinking water if it was making them feel bad. sure, was it a bad idea to have a water drinking contest? probably. but last time i checked, that woman wasn't being forced to do anything.

but it's a lot easier to sue than to take responsibility. spill hot coffee in your lap? sue McDonald's for making hot coffee. some old lady in Texas just won a few thousand dollars because she was tazed even though she literally asked for it. and since Aquamom's family just won themselves a cool 16 million, you can expect to see a lot more of these lawsuits coming soon. hell, i might just sue you for not leaving a comment on this blog so tell your lawyer to expect a call from my lawyer.

i don't know this family but i already don't like them. i'm just going to hope that they act like so many people who suddenly inherit a lot of money... and by that i mean that i hope Daddy blows through the money in two years on stupid purchases and 20-year-old women. it's the American way.

Lil' Wayne, play us out.