an episode of C.O.P.S. this wasn't

on my way to work today, i saw a good example of an idiot driver and a jackass cop.

we are driving along I-35 and i see a cop driving alongside me in a 60 mph zone. naturally, since i speed everywhere, i slow down. the cop is in the middle lane and there is a guy in front of him and after a few miles, the guy apparently is either unaware of the cop or sick of him so he speeds up and of course got pulled over. the only problem was the guy that speeded up wasn't going any faster than me and there was no way that i was going 65 at the time. are we really pulling someone over for going 5 mph over the speed limit on a highway?

but the idiot driver getting pulled over worked out for me because that meant i could speed back up and continue my commute. i do have to wonder though if the cop was a dude or a Ms. Officer.

SWINE FLU 2009: BACON BITES BACK!!!

so swine flu made my life pretty interesting yesterday. i didn't catch it but i was pretty sick of it by the time i left work on Wednesday.

to recap, around 11 in the morning the UIL (Texas' athletic governing body) announced that they were suspending athletic competition until May 11 because of the swine flu outbreak. yes, that is what you call breaking news. i was going to just chill on Wednesday but i ran/drove into work and spent the day making phone calls, posting blog entries and writing this story.

the UIL's decision garnered national attention and made our sports department a hot commodity. my co-worker Rick Cantu appeared on the 5 p.m. Sportscenter while i did a segment on one of the local radio stations. we're famous.

i am once again on swine flu patrol today so we'll see how that goes. i'm holding out hope that Katie Couric calls and wants an interview.

oh and today, Alabama announced that it is suspending high school athletics as well. get your own shtick.

Cuba Gooding, Jr., isn't even be THAT dumb

i can't sleep so i guess i'll blog. that's just how life rolls i guess.

on the way home from the Dell Diamond tonight, this song was pumped from my iPod into my speakers and the next four minutes of my drive down Mopac were smooth and calming. whatever happened to Tracy Chapman? she was good. i mean, seriously, how are the Jonas Brothers making money while Ms. Chapman is doing the irrelevant thing? that's just stupid.

do you know what else is stupid? this. i don't think i should have to rant about this one but i'd like to know whose bright idea this was. i can imagine the meeting where this idea was pitched... "Jim, why don't we fly a big airplane ridiculously close to the New York City skyline and then let no one know about it because, let's be real here, everyone is probably too worried about the swine flu anyways." i mean, seriously. Cuba Gooding, Jr., called and he said that's a horrible decision and Cuba knows a thing or two about bad decisions.

onto some more chirpy news: i finally have 600 Facebook friends. yes folks, the butchering of my friends list ended on Monday morning and if you're still able to see my profile then congratulations. i feel a bit liberated and it's nice to know that tomorrow morning, i'm not going to open up my profile and see who that guy in my freshman econ class thinks are the five hottest celebrities (the answers are, by the way, Thandie Newton, Thandie Newton, Thandie Newton, Tyra Banks and Thandie Newton with the crazy Lindsay Lohan coming in a close sixth place).

one person who wasn't cut from my friends list is this guy. now why, you ask, am i giving Carlyle a shout-out in my blog? because big C is coming back to Austin for a weekend in May! that weekend also happens to be my birthday weekend. and it might also be Em and Seth's last weekend before the move to New Mexico. oh man, there is going to be some epic-ness going down.

my soundtrack (with some bonus music!!!)

so it's raining today. a lot. i drove to work when it was starting to sprinkle and as i got out of Maria and flipped on the song shuffle on my iPod, this is the song that started to play. i'm not lying. i was standing there with an umbrella in my hand and Gene Kelly in my ears and i was just looking for a lightpole to swing around. i would have even settled for a stop sign.

is that enough Singing In The Rain for you? here's Usher's version.

before we get into this entry's main course, let me hit you up with some appetizers. check out this website and then watch this SNL skit. funny stuff especially since that Cathy comic strip sucks.

anyways, today on the Bobby Bones Show, Bobby was describing the songs that would be played if there was a soundtrack about his life. the songs were interesting but they got me thinking about my soundtrack. so yea, here's the soundtrack to the Academy Award-nominated film "Danny Davis: An American Boy." word is, this movie is based on a true story. and it stars Kenan Thompson in the lead role, not because he's a good actor and not because i like anything that's he's been in (aside from Snakes on a Plane, that movie is a classic). i am casting Kenan in this movie just because i need an excuse to link to this theme song for the second time in the last seven days. onto the soundtrack.

1. "Circle Of Life" by Elton John: because there needs to be a song about my epic birth. i've been told i was born during a hurricane but that could also just be one of the 47 lies my mother has told me over the years. but for the movie's sake, i will be born during a hurricane. and a tornado. and i actually delivered myself.
   
2. "Family" by the cast of Dreamgirls: i chose this song because i have a family. and a love for musicals. i think we will be casting Denzel as "Dad" and Alfonso Ribeiro as "Anthony."
   
3. "Ghetto Superstar" by Pras f/ Mya: i grew up in a middle-class neighborhood but when you're black in Montana, you're a stereotype so in this upcoming flick, i will be able to rap and play basketball. i imagine this song will play while my character, in slow motion of course, walks through the Broadwater Elementary hallways during my first day of kindergarten.
4. "Macarena" by Los Del Mar: because this is my soundtrack and i'll put whatever songs i want on it.
   
5. "Ebony and Ivory" by Stevie Wonder and that guy who fronted that overrated British band: me and Cameron need a theme song and i can't think of something more corny/appropriate for the flimps. this song could also work for this soundtrack slot.
   
6. "In The Air Tonight" by Phil Collins: for some reason, this damn song was played in the lockerroom before every Senior High football game. i hate it. but it's a part of my life, so it goes in my movie.
7. "Return of the Mack" by Mark Morrison": i love this song and Le hates it. good enough reason for me.
   
8. "I'm Real" by Jennifer Lopez and Ja Rule: this was the last song they played at Prom. i don't think anybody who graduated in either 2002 or 2003 is allowed to have another song as their high school identification song.
   
9. "Yeah" by Usher: every day before i went to class and every night before i went to bed, me and my roommate watched this music video. i wish i could say that i was lying. Christoper will be played by Jason Segal.
   
10. "Bossy" by Kelis: three words: Montana Kaimin theme song.
    
11. "Next To You" by Mike Jones: i'd like to go with "My Girl" because that's my song for Chastity but i like this new song and we're trying to keep this soundtrack hip and current so we'll go with MIKE JOOOONES!!!
    
12. "Juicy" by Notorious B.I.G.: the ultimate way to tell all the haters to go play in traffic. my haters will be played by Beyonce and Nicolas Cage because i'd really like both of them to go play in traffic. we'll roll this during the credits.
    
13. (BONUS TRACK!!!) "Senorita" by Justin Timberlake: we'll remade the music video to include shots of the teen dance nights at Despos that took over the summer of 2003.
    

so that is my soundtrack which i am sure will garner both Oscar and Grammy nominations. now go out and spend $8.50 to see my movie.

and with the first pick of the celebrity draft...

this afternoon the city of New York will host another NFL Draft and ESPN will give overly-obsessed men across the country an excuse to neglect their families and responsibilities for the weekend ("i'd love to go play catch with you Billy, but the Vikings' fifth-round pick is coming up."). the Browns pick fifth and are almost assured to screw this pick up.

since Mock Drafts are all the rage, i'm going to put one together too. only i'm not going to dull you with my analysis of Matthew Stafford and Mark Sanchez. instead, i'm going to make my Mock Draft about the important things: celebrities.

as the New York Yankees and New York Mets are finding out right now, in these economic times, tickets aren't going to sell themselves. what these teams need are a celebrity super-fan because we are an incredibly dumb country and we really love our celebrities. if Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's relationship troubles can sell magazines, then i am sure that Miley Cirus can sell a few football tickets.

so let's go down to the Shrine Auditorium in Billings (home of two of my TWIRP dances and a 2004 Ludacris concert) and get this started with the top 10 picks.

1. Detroit Lions: MC Hammer. you'd like your celebrity to reflect your city and since Hammer was once famously broke and past his prime too, i think this is a perfect match. i kid. but seriously, if i hear one more sportscaster bemoan the downfall of Detroit, i am going to scream. what's happening in Detroit is awful but it's not the only place to be hit hard by the economy so let's quit assigning moral victory points to the city because Michigan State made it to the Final Four and the Lions got a decent quarterback prospect.
2. St. Louis Rams: Oprah Winfrey. Oprah is a powerful woman. if Oprah tweeted at 11:55 a.m. tomorrow that people should become Rams fans, all Rams apparel would be gone by the time your lunch break is supposed to start. plus, the selections from Oprah's book club could distract the fans from the terrible product on the field.
3. Kansas City Chiefs: Zac Efron. want to find a way to bring those teenage girls who could care less about sports into the stadium? get Zac Efron because the Jonas Brothers are sooooo yesterday. and Efron is a triple threat: he can act like the Chiefs are halfwhat entertaining, sing the national anthem and dance at halftime.
4. Seattle Seahawks: Lil' Wayne. as he proved while collaborating with Fat Joe, Lil' Wayne can make it rain which means he should fit in with the Seattle climate.
   
5. Cleveland Browns: Denzel Washington. because the Browns owe me.
   
6. Cincinnati Bengals: Chris Brown. if you're going to be a punk-ass thug, then you want to be part of the Cincinnati organization. plus, since Rihanna appears to be an absolute idiot, Cincinnati will get her in the deal too! after a brief debate about possibly taking T.I., the Bengals settle on Brown because it sets up the season-long debate about what's the bigger crime: what Brown (allegedly, cough cough) did or the way the Bengals play football?
   
7. Oakland Raiders: Will Smith. we all know that it was in Philadelphia, born and raised, on a playground was where he spent most of his days. but the Raiders should Will Smith back to Cali so he can chill in the Wild Wild West.
8. Jacksonville Jaguars: Horatio Caine. according to my friends at Orbitz.com, it's only about a two-hour flight from Miami to Jacksonville so why not fly in the fictional character from CSI: Miami? the heavy-hitting Jaguar fans can invite Horatio up to their suites to hear these awesome one-liners. and if one of the Jacksonville fans happen to get murder, their case will not only be solved in less than an hour with forensic tools that don't exist but the accused murderer will, for some reason, confess too.
   
9. Green Bay Packers: Lindsay Lohan. Green Bay in the winter may be the only thing cooler than Lindsay's career.
   
10. San Fransisco 49ers: Mary-Kate Olsen. ten years ago, the Olsen Twins would have been a surefire No. 1 pick but they've dropped off a bit. still, it might be worth it for the 49ers to draft Mary-Kate. first off, she knows the San Francisco area well as her father Danny once hosted a morning show in the area, one of her uncles was in a popular bay area band and another one of her uncles was a semi-funny local comedian. plus, Mary-Kate was linked to Heath Ledger and we all saw what his death did to The Dark Knight so it's only a matter of time before her career re-skyrockets too. the only downside here is that Mary-Kate is the Olsen Twin that doesn't eat so she probably isn't the celebrities you want if you're trying to boost your sales at the concession stands.
    

Anoop booted from Idol and i'm going with him

as you'll notice, i did not blog about American Idol yesterday as i was in a hurry on Tuesday and i just forgot to set the ol' DVR. my negligence proved to be a decision with drastic consequences as Anoop was sent packing. yes, Matt "Already Sent Home Twice By America" Giraud will get to grace up with his Justin Timberlake imitations for another week while Anoop will be heading back to the UNC campus.

Anoop's departure was a bummer but wasn't unexpected as it became clear over the past few weeks that he wasn't going to win this thing. but i still thought he'd finish in the top five so yesterday was a bit of a disappointment. Anoop's finish makes him my lowest-finishing opening day pick in the seven years that i've been watching the show.

• Season 2: Ruben Studdard, winner
• Season 3: LaToya London, 4th place
• Season 4: Carrie Underwood, winner
  
• Season 5: Paris Bennett, 5th place
• Season 6: Melinda Doolittle, 3rd place
• Season 7: Syesha Mercado, 3rd place
• Season 8: Anoop Desai, 6th place

so yea, with Anoop out of the competition, American Idol is a lot less appealing to me. Danny's a dead wife-touting douche, Giraud sucks (i actually saw him admit on Wednesday night's show that his ringtone is of him singing), Allison is talented but doesn't have the "it" factor and Kris is either really, really good or really, really bad. if anyone besides Adam Lambert wins this thing, it's going to be pretty surprising.

so there is my American Idol review for the rest of the season. i'm done. UNC Clef Hangers, take us home.

hotter than Dubya but just as well-spoken

so i guess a big fuss is being made over a response that Miss California gave during the Miss USA pageant about same-sex marriages. apparently the world is shocked that someone from a state that just recently passed a same-sex marriage ban opposes same-sex marriages. crazy.

i actually think Miss California's response was awesome because she just gave me a phrase to use in everyday conversations. instead of saying that i'm straight or that i'm in a heterosexual relationship, i'm going to start saying that CeCe and i are in an opposite relationship. this fad is going to catch on, it's the new holla.

anyways, i am more upset with Miss California being asked the question than the answer she gave. i mean, come on. these girls are pretty for a reason. they aren't supposed to think on their feet. why should anyone care what beauty queens think about foreign relationships, the economy and same-sex marriages? of course there are some smart girls who can give good answers but do you know what happens when beauty queens are asked tough questions? this happens.

on a side note, how did Kenan Thompson get a spot on the judging panel? is he really All That?

so stop asking these girls the tough questions that politicians can't give straight answers to. instead, why don't we bring back the talent competition and have all the contestants sing their state songs. i'd imagine this is California's anthem.

a Billings flashback that is truly "da bomb"

not much to write about since i've got a crapload of research to do today for some stories that i'm working on. but today is the 10-year anniversary of the Columbine shooting which is one of those memorable events that i guess we'll always remember where we were when we heard the news.

for example...

• 9/11: the lockerroom at Senior High before conditioning class. i went into the coaches' office to drop off my wallet into the lock box before class and i saw it on the TV and wondered why someone would attack Minnesota (the "twin" in Twin Towers threw me off).
• Columbine shootings: the Lewis & Clark Jr. High library. i ran into Brienna Daly who went to class in the afternoon at Senior. i asked her why she wasn't at Senior and she told me that the school had told all their outside students to stay home today because of the shootings.
• the Oklahoma City bombings: i was with my family when i heard the news and after seeing the police sketches of the guys they were after, i refused to turn off the lights in my room for about a week. i was convinced one of those dudes was hiding out under my bed.
  
• the election of Barack Obama: while watching election results and listening to Barack's speech, i was cleaning my apartment, eating dinner and doing some laundry. not much "change" there.
  
• Rockies win the NLCS: i was in my apartment taking celebratory shots of jager.

it's hard to believe that the Columbine shootings happened 10 years ago and its also hard to believe that 10 years ago, school shootings seemed to happen all the times. i remember after Columbine occured me and some friends scouted out who we thought would be most likely to snap out of our sketchy classmates and we then started acting very nice to them. we were only 13 at the time! we shouldn't have had to think about that stuff.

when my cousin was in town for SXSW she brought with her a friend who was from Littleton and went to a rival high school during the shooting. in fact, she was on a sporting team (i want to say lacrosse) that was formed from all of the high schools in the area so she had Columbine teammates. so that was interesting to hear her perspective on the events.

today is also the nine-year anniversary of the Senior High bomb threat. when i was a freshman, Senior High received a bomb threat and we were evacuated for the entire morning to nearby Daylis Stadium, which turned out to be a dumb idea because if there was really a bomb we still could have been hurt in an adjacent area.

it turns out that there was no bomb but unfortunately we were stuck in that damn stadium for a few hours so a bunch of teenagers got restless and jumped the fences and ran home for the day. and it was caught by local TV cameras. so the news begins with "BOMB THREAT AT SENIOR HIGH" and there is footage of students scrambling to jump over fences and fleeing for their teenage lives. if anyone has to ask me why i don't work for a newspaper in Billings, that is my answer. i am honestly too good for that shit.

it's crazy to think that stuff happened nine years ago too. i am getting old.

my DVD collection just got some Redemption

first off, i must kick things off by welcoming William Oram into the Mendacious Little Bastards club as he was reportedly given a MLB t-shirt at the Dean Stone Awards on Friday. i am sure that Duganz would like to also give William a blog shout-out but Duganz hasn't updated his blog in about eight years. point, TYC.

it rained a lot in Austin this weekend. in fact, we got so much rain that the high school baseball game that i was supposed to cover (Lake Travis v. Hendrickson) was rained out on both Friday and Saturday. since i suddenly had Saturday off, i decided to watch The Shawshank Redemption.

a few weeks ago, i was watching Robot Chicken with CeCe and one of their cartoons was playing off one of one of these scenes in TSR. i had no idea what the cartoon was homaging but CeCe explained it to me and i figured it would be a good movie to get to eventually.

well, i got to it on Saturday and it. was. awesome!!! great movie!!! if you haven't seen this movie, go out an see it now. it's just a beautifully done film and Morgan Freeman turned in a great performance (as if there was any doubt). the movie was so good that when i finished watching it (i had originally rented it on the iTunes), i went out to Target and bought a copy. yes, i get that this movie isn't in theaters but i'm still giving it a $8 rating.

Morgan Freeman has officially reached Denzel Washington status.

on a much more serious note, i spent a good part of this past week working on this story. this was my fourth obituary for the Statesman and, unfortunately, the second written about a person who is younger than me. this whole story is just heart-breaking and this one was really tough to write since there is a 15-year-old in my life who i don't know what i'd do without so i can only imagine the pain that this family is going through. but i think the story turned out alright and life goes on, i guess. hopefully, i won't have to write any more of these stories anytime soon.

my Domino's adventures aren't on YouTube

the Ball Bustas' first trip to the playoffs was a short one as we lost to some team called The Dirty Bunts 21-6. it was 17-3 after two innings. we just played awfully and the other team played really well. that's it. the Untouchaballs won the intramural championship meaning that their lone loss of the season was to us. so... if to be the best, you have to beat the best, doesn't that make us the de-facto champions? point, Ball Bustas.

do you know what sounds like a good way to celebrate our first-ever championship? pizza. in fact, let's order out. maybe from Domino's...

Domino's got some bad press this week after some employees posted a YouTube video of them making sandwiches and adding specialized ingredients like snot and farts. i'm not sure what's more disturbing here: the new toppings, the idiots who posted the video on YouTube or the fact that Domino's sells sandwiches. anyways, Dominos has since fired the two employees in the video (plus, i think, one more guy) and actually shut down that specific store so they could sanitize the place. the two people in the video will also face felony charges because apparently the government frowns on snot sandwiches.

now why do i care about Domino's? because i used to work there. i was hired to work inside the store during the summer after my sophomore year of high school and worked for the franchise at random times until i graduated from college. i started at the Grand store (i got the job because i had a better first day than the other kid they brought in... a kid who had special needs), transfered to the Broadwater store, worked a few shifts in the Heights and spent a year at the store in Missoula. how much tenure did i have? i got to wear a visor instead of a hat. i was running some shifts. i may or may not have forced people out of the door because i didn't get along with them. i was set to go back to work there in the fall of 2007 but the AA-S saved me and gave me a job. whew. let me tell you, there isn't a bigger incentive to graduate than working with a bunch of disgruntled 40-year-olds.

did i ever sneeze on someone's pizza? no. but there was a two-year stretch where i wasn't able to eat Domino's. and, oh man, i did have some adventures over the years...

i was nearly murdered (not kidding) by a co-worker who mistakenly thought that i had stolen his keys and i once had an irate customer drop the N-word on me. i once got a $15 tip from a family that had a kid who obviously hadn't bathed in a week and i've also gotten the "keep the change" line on a penny tip more times than i can count. i've heard an inner-work couple (the guy weighed over 400 pounds and the girl weighed less than 100 pounds and had a man face. think about that.) fantasize about having sex while rolling around in pizza sauce. i've had a water fight and annoyed my co-workers with every number in the Whitney Houston songbook.

a lot of crap happened during my six years of on-and-off service at Domino's. i should probably pitch a sitcom to ABC.

Idol goes to the movies and i want a refund

apparently Quentin Tarantino doesn't have much to do these days because he was the mentor for American Idol, making his second appearance on the show. i think he was also a mentor during season three. anyways, tonight's theme was songs from the movies and luckily no one attempted to butcher "I Will Always Love You." unfortunately, there were no Disney songs.

Allison Irehata, "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing": Allison isn't going to win this competition and the person she should blame is her parents. if she had been born two years earlier she could have contended for the crown with Jordin Sparks and she who knows, maybe she could have perhaps won next year's title. but she is coming in a year after the first rocker won and is only the second-best non-traditional competitor in this year's contest. Simon is correct that young Allison is the best girl left but i don't know if that's going to be good enough.

Anoop Desai, "Everything I do (I Do It For You)": how cheesy is this song? it's cheesy enough for me to have on my iTunes. but Anoop came through with a good rendition and was either the best or second best performer of the night. Anoop probably isn't winning this thing but this kid isn't going to have any trouble selling troubles. because when records actually come out, vocals matter and Anoop has better chops that Danny, Lil, Giraud or Kris Allen.

Adam Lambert, Born To Be Wild: the guy knows how to work a room, that's for sure. the problem with Adam (except for the ridiculous amount of screams and shreaks in this performance) is i don't like it when he rolls out the rocker performance. he's brilliant when he slows it down as he did with "Tracks of my Tears" and "Mad World." but when he rocks out like this week and two weeks ago during iTunes Downloads week it just doesn't do it for me. but Paula said something about fortune rewarding the brave, so yea.

Matt Giraud, Have You Really Ever Loved A Woman?: someone needs to tell that kid that Justin Timberlake can pull off the fidora look because he's Justin Timberlake. you can't pull off the fidora look because you're only a second-rate contestant on American Idol. i've never really liked Matt and he did nothing to sway me on Tuesday's show. and it's never a good sign when you don't get a chorus of sympathy boos when the judges bash your performance. my guess is Matt is going home.

Danny Gokey, Endless Love: Danny lost the glasses but brought back the pimping of the dead wife (did he really look to the sky as he sung that last note?) so we broke even on the douchiness. but it was actually a pretty solid vocal performance and there was a harp so i'm going to say it's one of his better performances on the show.

Kris Allen, Falling Slowly: it was really tender and sweet. much better than the crapfest that was last week's performance.

Lil Rounds, The Rose: i hate to turn on a sista but here goes. Lil had a great audition but wasn't as awesome during her semifinal performance and has been pretty mediocre during the six weeks of the actual competition. on a night when she can pick any soundtrack song she goes with a frickin' Bette Midler song and doesn't sing it all that well. somehow she still has a big fanbase so i don't think she's going to go home on Wednesday but she's not good. very disappointing.

five things to not do on the Facebook

on the comment section for yesterday's post, Captain John posted a question asking if i participated in those hip "Top 5" polls on Facebook. let me answer that: i do not. do you know why i don't answer those questions? because there is a thing called the information section of my profile. why should i fill out a "Top 5 Movies" poll when you can look at my profile at that word called "movies" and see "Remember The Titans," "Philadelphia," "Rush Hour" and "Role Models." so there you go, that's my top four movies, why lie and say that i really enjoy a fifth movie just to complete a Facebook poll full of information already on my Facebook profile?

in fact here are five other things that i don't do on Facebook.

1. super pokes: it just sounds illegal. or sexual. or both.
   
2. zombies: unlike Woody Harrelson, i have no interest in zombies.
3. tagging myself: if you want to look at photos of me, look at the photos in my 30-some photo albums. i don't know why i have to tag myself in photos to make things easier for everybody.
   
4. causes: i don't care about the children in Darfur and neither do you.
5. Facebook Scrabble: after getting my butt kicked in the Scrabble (i'm 23-31 right now) and the entity formerly known as Scrabulous enough, i don't think i've played in a long time. oh k, i lied, i am going to get back into the Scrabble right now. it's my online drug.

as i mentioned yesterday, i am getting back into deleting friends.

my original goal was to dwindle my friends list from 1,135 to 500 but after much consideration i thought this was impossible. i won't delete high school friends because apparently i'm on the reunion-planning committee and those contacts may come in handy so there are some people that i'd like to delete but can't. i won't cut people i work with because i don't want to be glared at in the workplace. and i won't cut people who i might have to hang out with again because that would just be awkward. church friends and Kaiminites also stay.

i got down into the 600s but managed to slip up and ended up accepting some friend requests so i went backwards. at the beginning of the week, i was at 693 friends and now i'm down to 640. my new goal is 600 friends so i need to find 40 people who i no longer want to cyber-stalk. Sheryl Crow is a liar because this final cut has become a pain in my butt.

i think that about sums up my recent Facebooking. i don't really check the MySpace anymore and am thinking about getting rid of that thing. we'll see.

growing up in a Bed Bath and Beyond

en route to Dell Diamond today i made a few pit stops. first, i had my car washed because it hadn't been washed since last October and was in desperate need of a vacuuming. secondly, i went shopping for... towels.

see, i'm growing up. i am in a grown-up relationship, i have a grown-up job and i pay grown-up bills. i behave somewhat like an adult when i go downtown and i am being more of an adult on my social networking sites (i am back to deleting Facebook friends. after a break and some added friends, we are getting back to trimming the fat so watch out for updates on here or on Facebook when you can no longer see my profile...).

so i now need to live in a grown-up apartment and i decided to start with my towels. i have six towels in my apartment and all are at least three or four years old. one towel i got as a reward for helping a friend move some things at a parent's lake house. another i stole from the dorms when i was a sophomore. one is a Ninja Turtle towel that i am pretty sure i've owned since i was a kid.

but the thing about towels is eventually they lose their usefulness. my towels have lost their fluff and are kind of beginning to smell. i had ignored the problem for the past year or so but today while celebrating by long and sweaty run with a towel rubdown after a hot, steamy and lathery shower (g'luck getting that image out of your head), i just kind of realized that i needed new towels. as soon as possible.

so i found my way to a Bed Bath & Beyond today and bought four new towels and four new washclothes. all light blue. it's a bit odd that i bought the washclothes since i never really use them but i guess you've got to mix and match in the bathroom so maybe i'll work on that whole washcloth concept.

i'm not sure what i'll do with the old towels. i'll probably keep a beach towel and the TMNT towel (like i'd ever throw that one out) and donate the rest of them. so if you need an old towel that has dried off my naked body (once again, g'luck with that image deletion), you know where to look.

but while i'm growing up a little, i am not completely there which is why i'd like to take a minute to talk about MTV. well, specifically i'd like to talk about the Real World/Road Rules challenges which kicked off another season last Wednesday with perhaps the greatest fight in Real World history. it's been like five days and i am still in awe of that awesome-ness. i don't usually condone fighting but man. awesome. WATCH THE EPISODE!!!

the challenge is going back to the Duel format that was used a few years ago when Wes won and i really like this format because it really is every man for himself. alliances are nice but in the end, it's an individual competition which means lots of drama and back-stabbing should ensue. i'm not sure if i like the living arrangement because the everyone-is-drunk-and-partying storylines get tiring and i was a big fan of the craptastic living conditions on the Island last year. if they could combine the living conditions of the Island with the game concept of the Duel II then i think you would have one helluva challenge.

but if i'm going to pick an early favorite on the Duel II, i'll go with Jenn to win the girls prize with Brad taking home the boys title.

let's also take a minute to talk about the other big TV show that premiered last week. i had high hopes for Parks & Recreation and i've got to say that i was pretty disappointed. it's pretty much just another Office with Amy Poehler playing the Michael Scott role. not that i don't like the Office because i love that show but one can stand only so much incompetent management, ya know? i'll probably stick with P&R for the remainder of the season so we'll see if it gets any better.

beer and math are no friends of journalists

yesterday was Opening Day for the Express so of course i spent my Thursday night doing my thing at Dell Diamond. in the off-season, the Dell had some renovations, which included converting the old press box into a stadium club and constructing a new press box and owner's suite on a newly-built third level.

apparently sometime during the construction phase, it was discovered that a beer tap wouldn't fit in the new owner's suite so it was dragged into the press box and is, i guess, open to anyone who has the proper credentials to be on the third level.

and of course, on the first night, some fellow journalists were rumored to have been drinking beer while covering the game. one guy, who i didn't know but was sitting next to on press row, left midway through the game and disappeared for a few innings. where was he? down in the stadium club, purchasing and then drinking a frosty brew. sigh.

there are many things i do that could be brought up for debate in a journalism ethics class. i wear shorts to work (i still don't see anything wrong with this), i eat the press box food (i've been told by my bosses that this is oh k) and i am good friends with two important members of the Express media relations team (i am not too worried about this one since Cox employs one of them and pays the other to freelance). however, one thing that i will never do is drink at a game.

do you know who drinks at baseball games? people who pay for tickets. that guy who is sitting in the fifth row and is yelling insults at a player who could easily kick his ass? he can drink. the guy who is paid to report the facts? he probably shouldn't be touching alcohol. i couldn't imagine drinking during the game and then going down for post-game interviews with alcohol on my breath. what happens if you drink you much? writing on deadline is a big enough task as it is, why add even more roadblocks? can you ever really perform your job drunk? after each game, i have a 25-30 mile trip to embark on to get home and i'm already exhausted enough as it and i can't even imagine adding alcohol to the equation.

when i was an intern in Tacoma, i was assigned to run quotes and do side stories at six Seattle Mariner games. apparently on Sundays, the Mariners like to give out pizza and beer in the press box in an attempt, i guess, to help the beat writers forget that they're covering the Mariners. as a 21-year-old intern, i thought this was the greatest idea ever and i grabbed a Bud Light and headed back to my seat only to get a lecture from the News Tribune's Mariner beat writer about professionalism.

and that (professionalism) is what it comes down. i would never drink a beer in the Statesman office and i would never do it while at a high school football stadium. so why is Dell Diamond any different? so even when the clock strikes midnight on Saturday night and my Lent-time prohibition ends, i will not be drinking while i have my Statesman work badge anywhere near me. i don't really care too much what other journalists do but i just think it makes us look incredibly unprofessional.

and while we are taking about journalism, let's talk about another thing that journalists shouldn't do: math. yesterday was apparently riddle day in the newsroom and there were two popular ones that were being passed around the sports department that was leaving everyone stumped.

i am convinced that the one about the car didn't make any sense but the one about the hotel rooms baffled both my co-workers and my girlfriend, who teaches math. for the record, figured it out in five minutes. CeCe contends that she was driving, eating a snowcone and reading the riddle which was sent to her in text form so her multi-tasking led to her incorrect answer. i would give it to her but since i am a guy (and thus am subject to being wrong about every argument), i am going to take this victory. point, Davis. and while i am at it, frequent blog reader Robyn also got this riddle incorrect although MK, of Ball Bustas pitching fame, got it right. so if i add that up correctly, it looks like i am beating the important females in my life by a score of 75-1.

anyways, here is the riddle: three guys are sharing a hotel room that costs $30 so they each pay $10. I turns out the room actually costs $25 so the group gets $5 back from the hotel manager. Each guy pocketed $1 and they gave the manager a $2 tip. So if each guy paid $9 and they gave a $2 tip, what happened to that extra dollar?

and yes, this riddle did haunt the Statesman sports department for most of Thursday afternoon. we are great at covering sports events around the Central Texas area but those math equations are our kryptonite.

two players set to depart Ball Bustas franchise

i promised all my faithful readers a third post about the Ball Bustas with some disheartening news and here it is... we will be losing two outfielders in June. Seth recently got a job to New Mexico so him and Emily will be heading West in a couple of months.

not going to lie, this is kind of sad and it's sad for reasons that have nothing to do with softball. over my near-two years in Austin i've had a lot of good memories and those two have been a part of a lot of those memories. hell, along with Anna, Emily has achieved Queen Bee status in our group of friends and i don't know how anything is going to get done without her here! plus, Emily has also become a connection between be and the girl scout cookie empire (her little sister is a girl scout) so i going to have to find other places to get my samoas. it's sad that they're leaving but i'm happy for them and i guess we are going to have to make these next six weeks awesome (which is good since i can start drinking again at 12:00 a.m. on Sunday).

the only question that remains is when Seth leaves is he taking his cornhole board with him?

a stroll down memory lane with the Ball Bustas

i lied. i am still uber-thrilled about last night's win so today will be a three-post day about the Ball Bustas franchise. the entry with the Ball Busta bad news is upcoming and this is going to be a look at the Ball Bustas throughout the months. holla.
yellow t-shirts: the beginning of an era.

light blue t-shirts: the introduction of the girls and Robin.

maroon t-shirts: saying g'bye to Carlyle and hello to Mike and an intern.

red t-shirts: Danny and the Glovers and a 1-5 season.

white t-shirts: taking a break from softball for some wiffleball.

teal t-shirts: massive roster = massive season

Ball Bustas earn satisfaction and a playoff berth

a couple weeks ago i posted about the ultimate intramural softball grudge match: Ball Bustas v. The Untouchaballs. well, that game was rained out and if you read my blog, you'd have known that it was rescheduled for last night. it was a pretty good game and... the Untouchaballs are untouchable no more. win the 12-11 win, the Ball Bustas improved to 5-1 and clinched the first playoff berth in their five-season franchise history and are now in a three-way tie for second place with one of those in the three-way being the Untouchaballs.

do you want a game recap? of course you do.

yesterday was the first game in which we had all of our players show up for a game. we have a roster of 16 players but i think the most players we've ever had show up for a game was 14 and we've had as few as 10 play. but for our regular season finale, all 16 Ball Bustas were not only in uniform but they all came to play as well.

after a scoreless first inning, the Untouchaballs struck first in the second frame using two home runs to centerfield (where this blog writer may or may not have been playing) to stake an early 4-0 lead. the Ball Bustas countered in the bottom half of the inning with two runs.

in the next inning, the Untouchaballs looked to have sewn things up, taking advantage of some more big hits and some Ball Busta errors to grab a 7-2 lead. however, for the first time in about a month, the Ball Busta bats came alive and hit three home runs in a mercy-ruled nine-run third inning and suddenly the underdogs had a 11-7 lead going into the fourth and final inning. one of those home runs (and by home runs i mean a double with a two-base error) was hit by yours truly and the other two were back-to-back shots by Mike and Seth with Mike's being a grand slam.

the Untouchables countered with four runs in the fourth inning to tie the game. however, in the fourth inning our pitcher MK, a former Untouchaball, showed what a baller she was as she knocked down/was knocked down by a line drive, shook it off and finished the inning. this is the second time this season that our right-hander hurler has been hit by a line drive but she still continues to go out and pitch. gutsy.

with one final chance to win the game, the Ball Bustas came up big in their last at-bat. Vanessa led off the inning with a single and then was moved over to third base on a double by Thomas. Two batters later, Carly hit a ball to the Untouchaball pitcher who overthrew home and Vanessa scored to give the Ball Bustas the win.

it was our team's second straight walk-off win. we're clutch.

so yea, we beat the previously unbeaten Untouchaballs for probably the greatest win in franchise history. i think everyone on the team genuinely had a good time even though there may or may not have been a heated argument between one and my teammates during the game (something about intramural softball makes me aggressive, argumentative and assholic. i've come to grips with it). it was honestly a good time and i'm not going to lie, it felt good to beat Pedro, Avery and Max (a former Ball Busta) and no matter how much Max denies it, i know he was rather unhappy with the loss. with the win, i also am now 2-0 against Pedro in the ASSC intramural softball league as the blue t-shirt team beat an early version of the Untouchaballs 18-11 last spring.

it's very possible that we'll meet the Untouchaballs in the playoffs and it's very possible that they'll beat us 19-3. but i don't care because Wednesday night was so damn awesome. go Ball Bustas, we rock.

and this is the first of two blog entries about the Ball Busta franchise that will appear on TYC today. unfortunately, the second will not be as overflowing with good news.

is a Britney Spears song really worth $1.29?

what's going to be a better show tonight: The Duel 2 premiere or the Ball Bustas/Untouchables re-scheduled showdown? oh and some songs in the iTunes store are now $1.29 (plus tax). could someone please explain how this crap is worth $1.29 while my new favorite song is only worth a good 99 cents? that's all i've got, i've got a softball game to get pumped up for.

i've nearly got CeCe on the Anoop bandwagon

so you really wanted to read an Idol recap? oh k, here it is!

Danny Gokey, Stand By Me: i was bothered by this song choice because last time i checked Stand By Me was recorded in the 1960s. apparently it was covered in 1980 but isn't that cheating? i was going to be really pissed until i checked out the wonderful songs that 1980 gave us and after realizing that no other songs were moderately decent, i decided to give ol' Danny boy a pass on the song selection. as to whether it was a good or bad performance, it doesn't really matter what i have to say because the judges are going to do their best to get him into the finale.

Kris Allen, All She Wants To Do Is Dance: last week Matt made the mistake of performing in the crowd and this week it was Kris that decided to fall into this trap. after a great performance last week, Kris came craaaaaaashing back down to Earth tonight with something that was less than ordinary.

Lil Rounds, What's Love Got To Do With It: it was a predictable song choice and it was predictably karaoke. you can't strut like Tina, attempt to sing like Tina and then be surprised when you're bashed for not being Tina.

Anoop Desai, True Colors: like his Tar Heel homies on the basketball court, Anoop brought it on Tuesday. he was a bit of a tool last week but he atoned for it tonight. and you know that the performance was moderately good if my Idol-hating girlfriend commented on its goodness.

Scott McIntyre, The Search Is Over: apparently Scott can play a guitar. i'm still not impressed. the good news is i don't think i'll have to worry about listening to him after tomorrow night.

Allison Iraheta, I Can't Make You Love Me: if she ends up in the bottom three again on Wednesday, this show is a sham. but i will admit that i felt a little sketch enjoying a 16-year-old sing about turning down the lights.

Matt Giraud, Part Time Lover: it was alright but i didn't like it as much as the judges did.

Adam Lambert, Mad World: yea, he's a solid favorite now.

a day full of busyness, bats and baseball

i had a really busy day yesterday as i ended up putting in a 12-hour workday which resulted in three stories: one on Giddings High, one on the Express and one on two future Longhorns. i also wrote a couple of blog posts and did my thing on Twitter so i guess you can say that i was productive.

i spent most of the day at the Texas Relays but i did spend about an hour or so at the Statesman office. when i left the Statesman, it was still daylight outside but i heard some screeching and saw a crapload of birds flying overheard. i soon realized, however, that those birds were actually the bats from the bat bridge. and there were literally thousands of them. i took a picture. it's posted above.

i have done the bat bridge thing once but it was somewhat dark outside when the madness happened so the bats were kind of hard to see. but i left work at like 7:30 and it was still very daylighty outside so i got to see all of the little critters flying around on their daily feeding frenzy. not gonna lie, it was kind of gross. so lesson learned: never work past 7:30 p.m. because you might be attacked by bats on your way home.

if you read the second story that i linked to above you should know that i am working again today as the Express have an exhibition game. the Express open their 2009 season on Thursday and the actual MLB season opens tonight when Philly hosts Atlanta. over the past couple of week i revealed my divisional predictions in my Armchair Quarterback series but i never actually unveiled my playoff and World Series choices, so here goes...

AL East: New York Yankees
AL Central: Minnesota Twins
AL West: Oakland Athletics
Wild Card: Tampa Bay Rays
NL East: Philadelphia Phillies
NL Central: Chicago Cubs
NL West: Arizona Diamondbacks
Wild Card: New York Mets

World Series: New York Yankees over Chicago Cubs

well, i know what i'll be doing on June 12th

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm a nerd but a nerd with A-Rod at third base

back in high school there were lots of clubs to join in an effort to stimulate one's social life and standing. then there was chess club. we made fun of chess club. in fact, one year me and some friends crashed the chess club photo for the yearbook as a joke. those kids were dorks.

well, i think that i may be involved with something that has become ten times more dorky than the chess club: fantasy sports.

how did i spend my day? well, from around 10:30 to about 2, i was at Dave & Buster's, drafting a fantasy baseball team for my work league. after about two hours (and 20 questionable looks from other patrons) i realized that i am kind of a loser. as i ate my lunch, i pondered over whether i should take a starting pitcher with an early draft pick or wait until the later rounds. i laughed to myself as i took Alex Rios in the fourth or fifth round and heard other drafters groan about my good pick. i made a frickin' speech when i drafted Shin-Soo Choo. yea, that's right, a speech. about Shin-Soo Choo.

let me take you back to the fall. for our fantasy football league, we had a luncheon to discuss league rules and the meeting got kind of heated. so there we are, a bunch of adult yelling each other about the waiver wire and league payouts. at one of the tables next to us were a bunch of 30-some women who were on their lunch break and their looks and smirks weren't nearly as embarrassing as when a heralded basketball recruit sat down at a nearby table and had to listen to us argue about the practicalities of a once-monthly league meeting.

i mean, i've done it all. i have been members of fantasy NASCAR, hockey, basketball and golf leagues. exactly how bad is that? i hate NASCAR, haven't watched a hockey match in at least five years, watch the NBA only when its dumbed down to Sportscenter highlights and only watch golf on Sundays... when Tiger is in it. but oh yea, i was all studied up on what goalies would have a shot to lead me to a coveted fantasy championship in hockey.

luckily, i've cooled it a bit and now only play fantasy baseball and football. but since i belong to four fantasy football leagues and well as two fantasy baseball leagues, am i really that better off?

i mean is anything that dorkier than debating whether Derek Jeter or Jimmy Rollins is a better fit for your make-believe team? isn't it a bit pathetic that an injury report can send you into a downhill spiral of sleepless nights and alcoholic binges? once upon a time i used to care only about what happened with the Colorado Rockies but this season, i have a vested interest in how the Cincinnati Reds do since i have three of their players on my fantasy roster.

seriously, i am an uber-nerd and it's a small miracle that Chastity isn't hitting the "cancel relationship" button on the Facebook as she reads this. i think that fantasy sports may be the dorkiest thing ever. well, except for Dungeons and Dragons. those kids are losers.

anyways, here is the roster for the Kenny Lofton Memorial Society which has great bats but little pitching. bask in its glory with me: C Ramon Hernandez, Cincinnati; C Dioner Navarro, Tampa Bay; 1B Aubrey Huff, Baltimore; 1B James Loney, Los Angeles; 2B Brian Roberts, Baltimore; 2B Mark Ellis, Oakland; Jose Reyes, New York Mets; SS Jed Lowrie, Boston; 3B Chone Figgins, Anaheim; SS Alex Rodriguez, New York Yankees; OF Nick Markakis, Baltimore; OF Carlos Quentin, Chicago White Sox; OF Alex Rios, Toronto; OF Ryan Ludwick, St. Louis; OF Milton Bradley, Chicago Cubs; OF Shin-Soo Choo, Cleveland; SP Edinson Volquez, Cincinnati; SP Ryan Dempster, Chicago Cubs; SP Ubaldo Jimenez; SP Justin Duchscherer, Oakland; SP Jered Weaver, Anaheim; SP Aaron Cook, Colorado; RP Francisco Cordero, Cincinnati; Huston Streeet, Colorado

some quick thoughts about American Idol

i don't have time to give a full American Idol recap (i know 90% of you are disappointed) so this will be short. in fact, last night's episode can really be summed up by the first four contestants. Anoop came off as a tool, Megan Joy/Corkrey is going home, the judges' continued pimpinization of Danny's mediocre performances is doing nothing to calm those rumors that the show is rigged and i think lil' Allison is incredibly underrated.

there were five more contestants but they didn't really matter.