tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46196194560053438032024-02-18T21:05:54.395-06:00the yogurt chronicles90% of my stories are 100% accurate.Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.comBlogger856125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-88012524074508388872014-07-08T00:48:00.000-05:002014-07-08T09:12:15.968-05:00Mom, rest in peace.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDJbuwZ3XZADwQZh2J5cM012iZprnFCw08_3MRvdBsq-VVvMl5hh578U0FA9qonNJMjeS3up5LXGySds5ubeybo1U3fRQTfUfMA0hCYaLhofP000dqthwQOCXDlBYaa1QYWJ4kSK3TXnG0/s1600/1928983_504963127916_533_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDJbuwZ3XZADwQZh2J5cM012iZprnFCw08_3MRvdBsq-VVvMl5hh578U0FA9qonNJMjeS3up5LXGySds5ubeybo1U3fRQTfUfMA0hCYaLhofP000dqthwQOCXDlBYaa1QYWJ4kSK3TXnG0/s1600/1928983_504963127916_533_n.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">when i first moved to Austin, i found myself listening to one of the city's popular morning shows. they would consistently refer to "peaks and valleys" on the show, and more often than not that was a metaphor for the host's roller-coaster dating life. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that three-word phrase also described last week for me.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">on Monday, i married my dream girl. on Friday, i lost the first woman who loved me.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Chastity and i returned from our honeymoon on Friday night, and we crashed after getting into our own bed for the first time in over a week. when i woke up on Saturday morning, my phone had about 10 missed phone calls, two voicemails from my step-dad and a few frantic text messages from my brother. my mom had been battling some health problems over the previous few weeks, so i didn't need to return any of those phone calls to know what had happened.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">throughout the next couple of days, all four of us kids posted the announcement on Facebook. the response was touching - yet a bit overwhelming - as friends and family members passed along their condolences through Facebook, text messages and old-fashioned phone calls.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but while i was thankful for the thoughts, i was more appreciative of the people who relayed stories about what my mother meant to them. the term "like a mother to me" was used a few times.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i guess that is what my mom was. the autopsy report hasn't come back, but i feel confident in saying that a heart ailment was the cause of her death. and that's unfortunate, because my mother had a big heart. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">she "adopted" too many of our friends to count, and i only partially joke when i say that she liked my friends Danielle and Cameron more than she liked me. my mother was also a foster mother, and she operated a daycare for years.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but most importantly, she and my dad took in four kids who nobody else wanted. and that was our little family. whenever we would get frustrated and wonder why our biological parents didn't want us, my mom would insist that we were extra special because somebody wanted us to be in their family. a little cheesy in retrospect, but it was comforting nonetheless to a child's ears. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">although we weren't related by blood, i think that we all inherited some characteristics from our parents. i absolutely inherited my mom's stubbornness.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">being stubborn isn't always a bad thing. stubbornness has fueled my desire to never settle. being stubborn has taught me to stand up for myself. being stubborn has forced me to thoroughly examine what i believe in, because i need to be convicted in the things that i stand up for.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but having two stubborn personalities in the same household isn't a recipe for peace and harmony, especially when those two people don't see eye-to-eye. so my mother and i fought. a lot. i don't think that it's erroneous to say that i spent most of my adult life at odds with my mother. i wouldn't say that there wasn't any love in our relationship, but nobody was mistaking us for members of the Huxtable household either.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i guess that's why i have reacted to my mother's death a little differently that most people have expected. it's been tough to properly mourn, because i have been overwhelmed by a sense of regret and guilt. did my mom really know that i loved her? what if i hadn't been so stubborn in this little argument or that little quarrel? although i disagreed with some of her decisions and actions, why was i so judgmental about everything? how could i not pick up the phone more often? </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i've thought a lot about my last trip to Billings. two summers ago, we were dropping Noelle off at my mom's home. as we got to the place, Noelle asked if i wanted to come in. i said no. i had no desire to see my mother.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i didn't see my mother that evening. i'll never see her again, at least not in this life.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i guess that i stupidly thought that i would have more time. i'm not even 30 yet. my mom was 58. 58 isn't young, but it isn't old either. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i always figured that we would be able to reconcile at my wedding. or whenever i delivered her a grandchild or two. or as we matured and aged. or on a deathbed... and being since my mom had beaten cancer and survived numerous other trips to the hospital, i was always convinced that she was going to outlive me.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but our timelines aren't predictable. and that sucks. living with regret is terrible, and it's even worse when there is no way to redeem yourself.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i can say that we had been slowly working to repair our relationship over the past couple of months. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">our birthdays are separated by two weeks in May, and we recently swapped happy birthday messages for the first time in years. my mom didn't make the trip to Jamaica, but we exchanged a few messages leading up to my wedding, and the last time that we communicated was on the big date. some of my mom's last words to me were a pronouncement of her love for me and Chastity.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so there can be some solace found in that.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">over the past few days, Chastity has reminded me that i need to remember the good times with my mom. and maybe those regrets will eventually be overshadowed by these positive memories.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my kids will never meet one of their grandmothers, but one day i will hopefully tell them about the lady who helped raise me. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i'll talk about road trips to the West Coast with what seemed to be one Wilson Phillips tape. i'll recall Christmases, and the way that my mom enjoyed surprising one of us with a big gift every year (i once got a Game Gear, which was hidden in the bottom of a box of books that my mom asked me to unload into the library). i'll remember tagging along to my mom's craft shows, and the Olympics that she hosted one summer for us and the kids in her daycare (only gold medals i've ever won). i'll tell my kids that their grandmother got remarried and thought that it would be a great idea to leave a bottle of champagne at a reception table where their father was the only one who could legally drink (it wasn't). </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i can tell my kids about my mom's meatloaf and molasses cookies, and i'll whisper behind their mother's back that the best spaghetti in the world was served on Clark Avenue (i'll omit any references to my mom's tuna casserole and clam dip). whenever my kids think that i am embarrassing them, i can tell them how my mom was the one who gave me the awkward sex talk,
and how she found delight in torturing me with random sex references
during visits by Cameron and Danielle.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i'll talk about the woman who never accepted a second-rate performance in the classroom. when my kids wonder why i am telling them to get a job, i will explain to them that i worked two jobs in high school because my parents insisted that my indulgences would be more gratifying if i paid for them myself. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my mom taught me that my life was worth something, and i will teach my kids that same lesson. i will hopefully install the same fear in them that we had for my mom. my kids might not think that their grandmother was a scary-looking lady, but they never got into a handful of fender-benders in a car that she owned, and they never sent a basketball through two of her windows during the same afternoon. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">most importantly, i hope that i will show as much pride in my kids as my mom showed in hers. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i remember the joy in her eyes when i got accepted into the University of Montana, even though the only admission requirement was that i had a check that wouldn't bounce. she may have actually been tone-deaf, but she always grabbed a good seat at whatever band, choir or orchestra concert that her kids were participating in. she cheered loudly for a kid who struck
out too many times and never caught a pass on the football field. and even though i look back at my old high school and college articles and shudder at their awfulness, my mom always knew how to encourage me as i chased a career in journalism.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">this turned out to be a very long blog. but it was very therapeutic to write, and i think that will help as i get ready to travel to Billings for the funeral. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i hope that whoever reads these words had a better understanding of my mom. she was a good lady.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Wilson Phillips, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIbXvaE39wM">play us out</a>.</span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-31783244869583141082014-06-26T00:04:00.002-05:002014-06-26T00:07:28.629-05:00Team Us heads down the aisle<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4Y0HP6NmhveBNQy6wZ7pNSSK0gJjQ2MTzcq0NzosBOduzCnjWXXxYqAkyOG_ALhHLALAZ_1vL3r3vAvW5V0YlQwvpI1IrMxunPqML-N_nejQm70R4yVo5jCChOm-XIK3IO8PxDxh4fw9E/s1600/CeCe+V-Day.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4Y0HP6NmhveBNQy6wZ7pNSSK0gJjQ2MTzcq0NzosBOduzCnjWXXxYqAkyOG_ALhHLALAZ_1vL3r3vAvW5V0YlQwvpI1IrMxunPqML-N_nejQm70R4yVo5jCChOm-XIK3IO8PxDxh4fw9E/s1600/CeCe+V-Day.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>-20.8</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">it is after midnight on June 26, so that can only mean that my alarm clock is going to go off in less than five hours. Chastity and i will then roll out out of bed... well, we will hit the snooze button and sleep for about 10 minutes and then roll out of bed... and we will be heading to the airport by 5:30. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a flight to Jamaica awaits us, and we will be getting married while we are in Jamaica. some of our family and friends will join us at the ceremony, and we are both excited about this marriage. we are stressed with the wedding planning, but excited about the marriage.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i first met Chastity during the summer of 2007. she hates when i tell this story, but she was dating one of my fellow interns at the Statesman. so like all good romance stories, we met during a night of partying.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">we occasionally chatted on Facebook over the next year, and i got the guts to ask her out in November of 2008. dating led to a steady relationship, which led to an engagement, which led to this aforementioned wedding.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i love Chastity so much. i love her smile and i love her laugh. i love her intellect and the way that she is savvy enough to keep me in place. i love that she is a God-fearing woman. i love the loyalty that she shows to her family, and i love the understanding that she has afforded me when it comes to my familial relations. i love that she is the brains behind this relationship, but i appreciate the sense of vulnerability that she shows with me. she makes me want to be a better person, but she still loves me for the man that i am.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i am so blessed that i get to spend the rest of my life with her. these last six years have been great, and i am excited to see what forever has in store for us.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">we'll see you in Jamaica.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Amy Winehouse, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crbO3ac7gXk">play us out</a>.</span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-76128882599740810042014-06-10T20:34:00.001-05:002014-06-10T20:34:19.435-05:00one thing that i don't want to see on my Facebook feed<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5lqvZUMK5WpEPqyu_ThjhyphenhyphenUDcopGT1jlfHAAoYcoscJeZ6bmi2zmWnZQ6fbT8IH_UCR1YhtmGHEFVEJaBTCilP6dq_lsNY_ZM48arjwsY151z4w1q7kgRLSDgI5hF9tOB81Utug4ZNdj-/s1600/facebook_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5lqvZUMK5WpEPqyu_ThjhyphenhyphenUDcopGT1jlfHAAoYcoscJeZ6bmi2zmWnZQ6fbT8IH_UCR1YhtmGHEFVEJaBTCilP6dq_lsNY_ZM48arjwsY151z4w1q7kgRLSDgI5hF9tOB81Utug4ZNdj-/s1600/facebook_2.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>-20</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i like the Facebook's cesspool of misinformed memes and political diatribes as much as anybody else, but something happened recently that made me think about the openness of social media.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a few weeks ago, an e-mail popped into my gmail's inbox. it was an e-mail that was sent to an online group of African-American journalists that i belong to. these e-mails aren't uncommon. in fact, i've received about 10 e-mails this afternoon, because people from this group are wanting to applaud work that one of the members did.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but this e-mail was different. this e-mail contained a suicide threat.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the e-mail was sent by somebody who i don't know, but it contained some sports-related predictions for after the guy's death. the suicidal journalist also took to Twitter to announce his plans.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">of course, our community of journalists sprung to action. people called employers and ex-employers. family members were tracked down. texts and Internet messages were sent to the guy, and members pleaded on the e-mail string for the guy to not take his own life. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i'm not sure if this reaction helped, but the guy did not kill himself. he even sent an e-mail a few days ago apologizing for the drama.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">if that was all there was to this story, i probably wouldn't have thought much about it. but this wasn't the first online suicide threat that i've seen over the past few months.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">two of my high school classmates also threatened to kill themselves recently, and both of those old friends posted their suicide threats on Facebook. one of those classmates wrote a "good-bye world" message after drowning a bunch of pills, so his threat was a little more urgent. the other threat seemed to be fueled by alcohol.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">honestly, these threats have just been weird. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i've always viewed suicide as such a selfish act. empathy should be diverted not to the fallen, but to those who have been left behind. but i'm sure that the thought of suicide has crossed a lot of people's minds. i know the thought hasn't escaped some of my family members. i even tried to kill myself once.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but the taking of one's life is such an intimate and personal decision, so it seems odd to see those kind of threats on a Facebook feed. i guess that they're cries for attention, and since none of the three aforementioned people died, those cries were heard.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i hope that those people have gotten the help that they desperately need. i also hope that others in my social circle who have suicidal thoughts have strong support systems to fall back on. because it's just weird to see these darkest moments sandwiched between cat pictures and Obama jokes.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The Five Stairsteps, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrotsEzgEpg">play us out</a>.</span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-48418791357908614602014-05-15T14:49:00.000-05:002014-05-15T14:52:49.443-05:00the best graduation gift that i ever received<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYZwOJkoNRkEcsRCPABTnshYASOg35VKDYCiTx5xngua2l-_h6J_ox-ULiifyy8Xozg6MBaE7Dyi07pVFkoUo1mHqwAxeHhtydftOuWOkTbMdeZYfqr8afEXE7rJCKZn3_SYJM6SQAZnC9/s1600/laundrybasket.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYZwOJkoNRkEcsRCPABTnshYASOg35VKDYCiTx5xngua2l-_h6J_ox-ULiifyy8Xozg6MBaE7Dyi07pVFkoUo1mHqwAxeHhtydftOuWOkTbMdeZYfqr8afEXE7rJCKZn3_SYJM6SQAZnC9/s1600/laundrybasket.jpg" height="218" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>-15.0</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">we've reached the month of May, so people around the country should brace for two things: my birthday and graduations.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">yes folks, it's time for the pomp and the circumstance. college graduations are upcoming (Montana graduates on Saturday). my guess is that high school graduations will be held at the end of this month and the beginning of June.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my little neighbor is set to graduate from high school in a couple of weeks, so i am looking for an answer to a question that has been presented to many people this spring: What do you get someone for graduation? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the easy answer is gift cards and cash money, honey. that's the route that i'll take, because who doesn't love cash and gift cards? when i graduated from high school and college, i cleaned up in the cards filled with cash department. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the only problem with giving money to a high school kid is that kids aren't necessarily the most responsible people in the world. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">upon my high school graduation, i pooled together the money that i had received and tried to buy a Kia. upon learning that those "$100 a month" deals don't apply to 18-year-olds with no credit, i switched to Plan B and just blew all of the money before i got to college. but i'd still like to thank all the people from my church who gave me $25.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">two graduation gifts actually did outlast my teenage spending sprees though. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my parents bought me golf clubs as a birthday/graduation gift. but after a good run in college, those things have been taken out of storage once or twice over the past five years. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i also received a laundry package from the same neighbors whose daughter is graduating in a few weeks. the package contained a laundry basket, laundry soap, a laundry sack that had my name embroidered on it, and i think there was some dryer sheets in there.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">upon receiving the package, i didn't exactly squeal with excitement. receiving $50 is a lot more fun than receiving a laundry basket. but that laundry basket ended up being the most practical gift that i ever received.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the laundry basket lasted for however long those plastic baskets last, and the soap made a few trips to the Aber Hall laundry room. but those were items that were useful to a freshman who was learning how to live by himself. and the laundry items were likely more long-lasting than whatever i blew my cash on.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">as for that laundry bag? i still have it, and i still use it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so if you're looking for advice this spring, i think that you should get these graduates some laundry soap. they'll thank you in 11 years.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Vitamin C, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HDM3eYp4KQ">play us out</a>. </span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-266078574207173872014-05-09T12:40:00.000-05:002014-05-09T12:40:16.821-05:00me and the Browns got ourselves a quarterback<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZIWmO67fh00pV1UsGP8_oTQHPCcNfwyiBnaUZ9DEGgMQ2JffqTEPGEgciXpmWcc5-vg_Bf3kEUnxtuNlPqyzaweDU_7aCeei45rQSgOL3vH0939BQP2obMSkiyI1pEny62s3-gwS9YW96/s1600/NFLDraftFootball-03fb7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZIWmO67fh00pV1UsGP8_oTQHPCcNfwyiBnaUZ9DEGgMQ2JffqTEPGEgciXpmWcc5-vg_Bf3kEUnxtuNlPqyzaweDU_7aCeei45rQSgOL3vH0939BQP2obMSkiyI1pEny62s3-gwS9YW96/s1600/NFLDraftFootball-03fb7.jpg" height="210" width="320" /></a></span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>-15.0</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i gave up on the Cleveland Browns on Thursday night. a few hours later, i told Chastity that my birthday present could be found in the team's gift shop.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">the NFL held it annual draft on Thursday, and the Browns decided to take their fans on an emotional roller coaster. but let's backtrack a few steps. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">as always the Browns were terrible in 2013, and the team was given the draft's fourth pick for their troubles. and since Brandon Weeden, Brian Hoyer and Jason Campbell's corpse all threw more than 50 pass attempts in 2013, it was clear that the team was going to needed a quarterback.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">there were a few viable prospects in this draft, but i fell in love with one quarterback: Johnny Manziel.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">say what you will about Johnny Football's off-field issues and his injury-prone frame, the kid was exciting to watch over the past two seasons at Texas A&M. and being since the Browns have recently subjected their fans to some awful quarterbacks (Colt McCoy), i just wanted some excitement in my life. and for as much drama surrounds Johnny Football, it's not like he has been linked with any serious legal issues (cou*pittsburghsteelers*gh). </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i was optimistic that Johnny Football was going to become a Brown. i became even more excited as most mock drafts paired Johnny with the Browns. the other Browns fan in the newsroom liked a couple different prospects, but Johnny was my guy.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">so you can imagine how angry i got on Thursday.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Johnny Manziel was available when the Browns' pick came up, but Cleveland threw a curveball and traded the pick to Buffalo. shocking. but as Buffalo, Oakland, Atlanta and Tampa Bay drafted players who weren't named Johnny Manziel, i felt like i had dodged a few bullets. and when the Browns traded for the eighth pick that Minnesota owned? ooooh boy, i was ecstatic. then i looked at my phone.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">for whatever reason, my buddy Brum was a minute ahead of the ESPN broadcast. so you could imagine my surprise when i saw a text message from him that said "Gilbert? Surprising".</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">the text didn't offer anymore context, but i knew what it meant. the guys i was watching the draft with congratulated me on getting Johnny, but i just scowled until the NFL commissioner announced that the Browns had picked Oklahoma State defensive back Justin Gilbert with the eighth pick of the draft. because if there was one thing that the eighth-best passing defense needed, it was another cornerback.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">as the pick was announced, people in the bar began to boo and we weren't in a Browns bar. i slammed my fist against the table and glared at the TV. i expressed my disgust on Twitter. i announced my intention to find a new team on Facebook. i sent terse replies to the e-mails and text messages that were sent my way.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i was mad.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">but then a funny thing happened: Johnny Football kept dropping. Minnesota passed on him with the ninth pick. Tennessee took an offensive lineman at 11. St. Louis said "No thanks" when it drafted 13th. Dallas didn't pick Johnny when the 16th turn in the draft order popped up. Arizona traded away the 20th pick to New Orleans.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">when Arizona traded away its pick, i began to feel optimistic again. the Browns also had the 26th pick of the first round, so Johnny would probably be available again. we wouldn't pass on him again, right?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">it was getting late and i needed to get home. since we had a few picks to go before Cleveland was on the clock, i paid my tab and walked to my car. then my phone began to blow up. during the three minutes i had been walking to my car, Cleveland traded for Philadelphia's draft pick (No. 22) and selected Johnny Football. i had my quarterback.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">all's well that ends well, i guess. Johnny Football is in Cleveland, and i am about to break my rule about grown men buying sports jerseys. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">we're talking about a surefire Hall of Famer here: there is a very good shot that Johnny flames out in a spectacular fashion. but there is also a chance that the Browns have found the kid who will quarterback their team for the next decade.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">for the first time in a long time, i am excited about being a Cleveland Browns fan. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Justin Timberlake, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8ygKnBtKAk&list=UUsXfDf1CDgU3SCt0gxJNXGg">play us out</a>.</span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-77673963075205977242014-04-07T11:36:00.001-05:002014-04-07T11:36:14.989-05:00i may have appeared in a 11.6k race on Sunday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdtixm74ShyE0UQZyFqPWiG-820ZdplzXRCHaaaImBcKAgziGA2xMRZ-Mtwcp3_2L07jbHm1W1xRuWXkJ_VRAyjX5oQYl81kGW67yJjAu5yuxxRLeDXRK202LLLsw624J8ES2xeKB0DNjk/s1600/IMG_20140406_081253_781.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdtixm74ShyE0UQZyFqPWiG-820ZdplzXRCHaaaImBcKAgziGA2xMRZ-Mtwcp3_2L07jbHm1W1xRuWXkJ_VRAyjX5oQYl81kGW67yJjAu5yuxxRLeDXRK202LLLsw624J8ES2xeKB0DNjk/s1600/IMG_20140406_081253_781.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>-12.8</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">on Sunday morning, i participated in my fifth Cap 10k race. i was aiming to break the 80-minute mark, but i clocked in at 1:24:54. it was still a personal-best performance, and i guess that leaves me a target time for 2015.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Chastity also participated in her first Cap 10k race on Sunday, and she finished a few minutes behind me. she had never run in a race like this, and i don't think she had ever run for that long. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but she did her thing on Sunday, and recorded a time that bettered my first two appearances in the event. i was so proud of what she accomplished this weekend.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i did have a question for the race organization though: how much did i run on Sunday?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the name of the race implies that the course covered 10 kilometers, which the Google tells me is 6.21 miles. so you would assume that i ran 6.21 miles on Sunday, correct?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but hold on for a second.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i have the "RunKeeper" app on my phone, and i had it turned on during the race so i could monitor my time and pace. and according to the RunKeeper, i covered 7.21 miles.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">now there is a lot of zigging and a lot of zagging that goes on during the Cap 10k race, so i understand how there could be a disparity between the RunKeeper and Cap10k distances. but a mile? i think that somebody is lying to me. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i am going to complete ignore the fact that my phone is a piece of garbage and just assume that RunKeeper is correct. why? because i like the number 7.21 better. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Vangelis, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-7Vu7cqB20">play us out</a>.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-20662908856663880492014-04-02T10:42:00.002-05:002014-04-02T10:49:15.871-05:00the Ball Bustas' last stand<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK7fyP-AhplH1Zpk_mjRnEdsg-JNmTTId0eyzNUgBOxgbnsHO-5o8DhBMGjyTnxudFiNDZIVQK0m1i7X4u_7JpXFLDlr5U1vXxqytZYwJ22lcK5Q10bxmAXBg7TaiVSxlbyPVCsjq9LYfT/s1600/2625_533274391916_5704613_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK7fyP-AhplH1Zpk_mjRnEdsg-JNmTTId0eyzNUgBOxgbnsHO-5o8DhBMGjyTnxudFiNDZIVQK0m1i7X4u_7JpXFLDlr5U1vXxqytZYwJ22lcK5Q10bxmAXBg7TaiVSxlbyPVCsjq9LYfT/s1600/2625_533274391916_5704613_n.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>-11.6 </b></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">in February of 2008, i made my first-ever drive out to a softball field in Del Valle. i had signed up to play rec-league softball in a city league, and the league had randomly assigned me to a co-ed team full of people who i didn't know.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">over six years later, the Ball Bustas are set to play their final game.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">the Ball Bustas will play at 8:20 on Wednesday night in a game that we will lose and likely lose by a lot of runs. the loss will drop our record to 1-7 against the opponents in our somewhat competitive men's league, and our career mark will be... well, we reached a championship game once and won a championship plaque on another occasion.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">and i think that will be it for the Ball Bustas. why? because sometime over the past year or so, softball quit being fun. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">the Ball Bustas have never been great, but we had fun. we were young and athletic enough to be competitive, and we could out-drink any other team that showed up to the softball complex. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">but as we aged, our athleticism faded and it became clear that we'd have to start practicing and participating in tournaments to contend with the other teams who all practiced and participated in tournaments. and for the Ball Bustas, that just wasn't an option. because i can't expect people to show up for practices when we have difficulties getting people out to the actual softball games.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">as the manager of the Ball Bustas, i was responsible for making sure that we could field a roster on a weekly basis and that has become a weekly nightmare. i mean, not getting our entire team to the field was always an issue for the Ball Bustas, and we even had to switch from a co-ed franchise to a men's league program when we couldn't routinely round up enough girls.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">but this past season has been rough. we opened the season with 12 players on the team, and three of those players just disappeared. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">that left us in a weekly hole of one, and every additional absence became a problem. we started last week's game with nine players (you are supposed to field 10), and two of those players were subs. as i write this blog entry, i am still figuring out how i'm going to get two more subs to the field tonight.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">rounding up substitutes on a weekly basis has become an annoyance. the hole in my wallet that was caused by the delinquents who committed to the team and bailed/never paid was also becoming a burden that i wasn't looking forward to dealing with on a consistent basis.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">so that's that. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i am not saying that i am retiring my glove, because i'll be happy to join a church league or grab my bat if anyone needs a mediocre substitute. but the Ball Bustas are kaput, and i'll be sad whenever we record out final out tonight. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">when i first moved to Austin, the circumference of my social circle wasn't large and i struggled to befriend people who I already didn't know from Montana.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">but the strangers on that softball team became some of my best friends, and our group grew and grew. we hung out every weekend. we celebrated birthdays, weddings and the birth of children together. i got to watch as two of my teammates fell in love and i made friendships that will last a lifetime. the first people that got to meet Chastity? Ball Bustas. it was great.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">but nothing can last forever. people move and move on. David and I are the only original Ball Bustas left, and Seth, Blake and Pedro may be the only others who have played more than two or three seasons with the team. so we've come to the end of the road.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i'll miss the Ball Bustas, and i hope that the team meant as much to others as it meant to me.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Skee Lo, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryDOy3AosBw">play us out</a>.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-37805301654860728402014-04-01T10:49:00.002-05:002014-04-01T10:49:41.198-05:00HIMYM: loved the show, hated the ending<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieGDqq_8997EWzyQxkZGFky9g6B-RSgzr4bxk5CmhHSvMdoPobWBAYCwa2XMC7lSk9YQXEhG-NQtb3wUmAuWZ2zsfYKiAA61L6w_ZP1o9jRiwLIFW-ZUzSpWiCJY8jSG7vkJ8CvMWQpugI/s1600/tumblr_m6u90pxjsd1rpff31o1_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieGDqq_8997EWzyQxkZGFky9g6B-RSgzr4bxk5CmhHSvMdoPobWBAYCwa2XMC7lSk9YQXEhG-NQtb3wUmAuWZ2zsfYKiAA61L6w_ZP1o9jRiwLIFW-ZUzSpWiCJY8jSG7vkJ8CvMWQpugI/s1600/tumblr_m6u90pxjsd1rpff31o1_1280.jpeg" height="180" width="320" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>-11.4</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">as many of this blog's readers know, i am a huge fan of How I Met Your Mother. and on Monday i said farewell to the runner-up to The Cosby Show on the list of my all-time favorite TV shows </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">how was the final 60 minutes that i spent with Barney, Robin, Marshall, Lily and... ugh... Ted? awful.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">well, i actually somewhat enjoyed the finale's first 58 minutes or so. i was able to get over the divorce and the fact that we spent an entire season preparing for a marriage that lasted three years. i was able to ignore that absurdity of Robin's placement as one of the Mother's bridesmaids. i wasn't even that shaken up by the Mother's death or the lack of time devoted to the passing, because those hints had been dropped and a televised grieving wasn't necessary due to the way that the series was constructed.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but when Ted's kids confronted him about him having the hots for "Aunt Robin", and Ted closed out the series by standing outside Robin's window with the damn blue french horn... are you kidding me? i mean, why does he still have that thing?</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> there are some people who will argue that this was the best way that
the series could have ended, because they believe that Ted and Robin
should be together. those people are misguided.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Robin is a career-first woman who has a career that ruined a marriage with a man that she did love. she doesn't want kids and has repeatedly told Ted that she doesn't love him. but now that she's a 50-something dog lady, she's willing to settle for the guy who has done nice things for her and has spent the past nine years telling his kids about how their mother was a consolation prize and how he she still wants to get with their Aunt Robin? </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so the moral of the story is that it's OK to settle when you're old? got it.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">we had our friend Natalie over to watch the finale, and she predicted this finish before the hour-long episode began. i was steadfast in my hatred of that idea, and i held out hope for a different ending until the mother died and i noticed that there was still a couple of minutes left on the clock.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i get that HIMYM's writers were probably undone by the show's success. it was clear that they shot those scenes with the kids years ago, and so it looks like the show runners had the finale in mind from the beginning. but as the show kept picking up seasons and the characters kept evolving, we also gained an understanding of why such an ending was absurd. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">ugh. Victoria was right.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so that's that. HIMYM premiered during my junior year of college, and i have been with the gang from the start. i absolutely hated the way that the series ended and time won't change that, but time also won't change the fact that i loved this show for all but two minutes of its 208-episode run.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i will miss not getting to watch HIMYM on Mondays, but i'll always have those syndicated re-runs and my DVD collection. and yes, i will eventually purchase the DVD of the final season, but please forgive me if I stop watching the 208th episode after Ted and Tracy finally meet under the yellow umbrella.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">well, this blog has depressed me. Bill, why don't you show the HIMYM folks how to do a real series finale (fast forward to the 37:20 mark):</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/fe0SIeC31Qk" width="560"></iframe></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The Solids, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqypUFDNDb0">play us out</a>.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-54975363995410123632014-03-31T12:30:00.001-05:002014-03-31T12:30:39.744-05:00hope springs eternal on Opening Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1ZMnakcO1sZlUGEjxfBmREJqJSqZgDuqKiVQt3A_QNDoPzlRVJdgTF4oU8H64kD8bFxoKQDvLZJ2wyp-I_33QjJ20uocu5yebid0hZNg8iAz2SyEuRTabSaofqzPucw_yZaoih-SSL1ZL/s1600/USATSI_5503742.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1ZMnakcO1sZlUGEjxfBmREJqJSqZgDuqKiVQt3A_QNDoPzlRVJdgTF4oU8H64kD8bFxoKQDvLZJ2wyp-I_33QjJ20uocu5yebid0hZNg8iAz2SyEuRTabSaofqzPucw_yZaoih-SSL1ZL/s1600/USATSI_5503742.jpg" height="200" width="320" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>-10.4.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">folks, i know that the three of you who still read my blog want one thing: comprehensive baseball coverage. so that's what we're going to give you on this fine Monday.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">the 2014 World Series will be won this upcoming fall by... the Colorado Rockies. duh.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">now there are more glamorous picks out there like the Washington Nationals, Los Angeles Dodgers, Tampa Bay Rays, Oakland As, St. Louis Cardinals, Atlanta Braves, Boston Red Sox, Texas Rangers, Detroit Tigers, Cincinnati Reds, Pittsburgh Pirates, Baltimore Orioles, Kansas City Royals, Arizona Diamondbacks, San Francisco Giants, Los Angeles Angels on Anaheim, Cleveland Indians, San Diego Padres, Milwaukee Brewers, New York Yankees, New York Mets, Seattle Mariners, Houston Astros, Minnesota Twins, Miami Marlins, Philadelphia Phillies, Chicago White Sox, Toronto Blue Jays and the Chicago Cubs... ok, maybe not the Cubs. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">But those prognosticators are all wrong, the Rockies are winning the World Series. you heard it here first.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">now don't be misguided by the the fact that i grew up listening to Jeff Kingery and Wayne Hagin on Rockies radio broadcasts. don't think i am biased because that i still proudly own an autographed picture of then-Colorado hitting coach Clint Hurdle. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">my prediction has not been skewed by my rooting interests. i just look at the facts.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">just look at the Rockies' depth chart:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>C:</b> Wilin Rosario (best catcher in baseball)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>1B:</b> Justin Morneau (best first baseman in baseball)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>2B:</b> DJ LeMahieu (best second baseman in baseball)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>SS:</b> Troy Tulowitzki (best shortstop in the history of baseball)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>3B:</b> Nolan Arenado (best third baseman in baseball)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>LF:</b> Carlos Gonzalez (best left fielder in baseball)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>CF:</b> Drew Stubbs (best center fielder in baseball)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>RF:</b> Michael Cuddyer (best right fielder in baseball)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">and the Rockies' pitching staff?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>SP: </b>Jorge De La Rosa (best pitcher in baseball)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>SP: </b>Brett Anderson (second-best pitcher in baseball)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>SP:</b> Tyler Chatwood (third-best pitcher in baseball)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>SP:</b> Juan Nicasio (fourth-best pitcher in baseball)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>SP: </b>Franklin Morales (fifth-best pitcher in baseball)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Closer:</b> LaTroy Hawkins (he's old)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">yes, i believe that the ingredients are in place for a 160-2 season.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">the Rockies open their season on Monday with a road game at Miami. will i be tuned in this evening? probably not because i've got the HIMYM finale to worry about... but i'll have plenty of Rockies games to watch in late-October.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Alabama, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh3GU5K5Fvo">play us out</a>.</span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-72291355875705011992014-03-28T16:31:00.002-05:002014-03-28T17:39:44.843-05:00see you later, alligator<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw3cMaRRtty45539LcqnTXWA6UQ5tl-cZsQQsJzxKeh84vwcAL5Ng3D4dexmGfolhewgvz_4CITWEC9Ue-B-944a6O7r58aLX4WR_e8fC-xLFSwtmXvxOhAylICGRx06_kgrKIOev2KcHM/s1600/4480_545417686656_7467084_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw3cMaRRtty45539LcqnTXWA6UQ5tl-cZsQQsJzxKeh84vwcAL5Ng3D4dexmGfolhewgvz_4CITWEC9Ue-B-944a6O7r58aLX4WR_e8fC-xLFSwtmXvxOhAylICGRx06_kgrKIOev2KcHM/s1600/4480_545417686656_7467084_n.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>-13.4</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">this evening, i am going to say farewell (for now) to a good friend.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">my buddy Mike is moving with his wife to Switzerland. his job offered him the opportunity to relocate to the presumed birthplace of Swiss cheese and Swiss Miss hot chocolate, and he jumped at the chance.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i met Mike in July of 2008, and our friendship was cemented after he survived an awkward camping trip with the Ball Bustas. so for the past six years, Mike has been our shortstop, a regular "Guys Night Out" attendee and a fellow BBQ afficionado.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">and now he will be playing softball, drinking beers and eating BBQ in Switzerland. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">being an adult can be weird sometimes.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">in high school and college, your friends are essentially set for four to five-year periods. sure, a kid's family could move or someone could drop out of school, but your circles aren't really altered because of a change in address.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">but adulthood is a little different, because life isn't like the Friends sitcom. friends relocate. they may move because of a new job, a family situation or a change in their love life. but it isn't that crazy to get an invitation for a going away party.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">it's sad, but it's life. it was sad when MK moved. it was sad when Max and Vanessa moved. it was sad when Captain John, Avery, Anna, Blair, Scott, Carlyle, Leslie, Amalea and Renee all departed Austin. it was sad when Seth and Emily almost moved away.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">(whoa, a lot of my friends have moved away from Austin) </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">but at the same time, you can't help but smile. because your friends are moving on with their lives and if they're happy, why should i be frowning? </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i don't know how long Mike will be in Switzerland, and i don't know if he'll call Austin home whenever he returns to the United States. but i hope that we keep in touch. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">happy trails to you.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Sarah McLachlan, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSz16ngdsG0">play us out</a>.</span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-33972322634415557292014-03-14T11:55:00.003-05:002014-03-14T11:55:57.181-05:00i'll be on my suit and tie<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB9auC2dgt3ol78r9JtyUJ9LCyCl3Rm515xAJM6i-6BhKfO2jHrPAsreYonUgBdfBBgsi9lGUtAx9yzVcjYGmdipkOhZ-3svnRS7yT1kj7JdzjW9sSNtHj1YFT1y0PXvVYywWJa1SmoESk/s1600/suit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB9auC2dgt3ol78r9JtyUJ9LCyCl3Rm515xAJM6i-6BhKfO2jHrPAsreYonUgBdfBBgsi9lGUtAx9yzVcjYGmdipkOhZ-3svnRS7yT1kj7JdzjW9sSNtHj1YFT1y0PXvVYywWJa1SmoESk/s1600/suit.jpg" height="152" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>-10.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i did something on Thursday afternoon that i had never done before: i bought a suit.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">with the big wedding approaching, i needed to figure out what i was going to wear on June 30. i wasn't feeling the "Tuxedo in Jamaica" look and Chastity won't let me wear shorts, so a suit seemed like the next logical step.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">the only problem is that Men's Warehouse doesn't rent suits, and my closet only boasts a sports jacket that i bought when i was a freshman or sophomore in college. so we were going to have to purchase a suit, and suits don't come cheap.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">after trying on a few colors and looks, me and Chastity the Stylist settled on a dark grey suit that we liked. and since my brother will be in the wedding, i bought his suit as his wedding party gift.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">total price tag: $855 and some change.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">that $855 price tag seems even more extreme when you factor in the fact that Men's Warehouse was having a "buy one suit, get a second suit for $100" sale. and that receipt didn't even include the shirt and the shoes that i am going to have to go back and purchase. and we still have to tailor the suits.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">damn, those suits cost a lot of money. and it's not like we have money like that.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">but i wanted a nice suit, and i didn't want to go to a place that was offering a "six suits for $300" deal because i just can't believe that those suits are that good. heck, i don't even know if Men's Warehouse is a good place to buy suits.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">and isn't it weird that i'm 28 and i don't own a suit? unlike a wedding dress, i could get plenty of mileage out of a suit. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i can wear my suit to church. i can wear my suit to work. i can wear my suit to weddings. i can wear my suit to funerals. i can wear my suit while watching the How I Met Your Mother finale at the end of the month. and the same arguments can be made for my brother, although i doubt he'll be watching the back-to-back HIMYM episodes on March 31.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">so i think that i've justified the purchase of the suits. plus, the Men's Warehouse guy always used to guarantee that i'll like the way i look, and i did think that i looked pretty in that suit (and i'll probably look even better in June since i now can't afford to eat out over the next three or four months).</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Justin Timberlake (of course), <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsUsVbTj2AY">play us out</a>.</span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-61881910543974442302014-02-24T10:59:00.001-06:002014-02-24T11:01:06.434-06:00i probably shouldn't like that on Facebook<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrl-cG8_VCfhjnZ5tILaUCzerzwWTBJiCIr72B0WMWLhc9WVxTK7mfpGBtRNqk2ykkOtGemlsFbSTtTe8dfFLwvHLTO7VCm_Wv8dKQDdV_-NzCKQlV2FZsgVPCAhfIiVS8-IPq8yjqxZem/s1600/nexusae0_fb-thumbs-up_thumb.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrl-cG8_VCfhjnZ5tILaUCzerzwWTBJiCIr72B0WMWLhc9WVxTK7mfpGBtRNqk2ykkOtGemlsFbSTtTe8dfFLwvHLTO7VCm_Wv8dKQDdV_-NzCKQlV2FZsgVPCAhfIiVS8-IPq8yjqxZem/s1600/nexusae0_fb-thumbs-up_thumb.png" height="158" width="320" /></a></div>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">-5.2</span></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i was going to blog today about either my political ignorance or HIMYM's final six weeks. but i am instead going to talk about one of those "i'm getting old" moments.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">a few days ago, Chastity and I were discussing the fact that she is turning 30 this year. that means that i will be turning 30 soon too. this dark revelation came a couple of days after the Ball Bustas realized that we couldn't pass at a college party anymore (we didn't go to a college party, we just realized that we couldn't get away with showing up at one).</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">so those two conversations delivered a couple of gut punches. being completely unable to relate to any of the high school kids that i cover has become a yearlong slap in the face. and then Facebook went for the knockout this morning.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i like to occasionally trim the Twitter feed on my work account. i follow around 70 people these days, and i would honestly follow less than 40 tweeps if that was plausible. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">so unless you are a fiance who says that i have to follow her, a colleague or someone who i need to follow for work-related reasons, i am probably not going to follow you for very long. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">but if was a follower of yours at one point, that probably means that i like you for one reason or another. so i don't want to completely cut off all social ties with these people.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />so if i unfollow someone on twitter, i make sure that i am friends with that person on Facebook. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">on Sunday, i did some spring cleaning on Twitter and i noticed that i was still following one of our former interns. so i decided to unfollow her on Twitter and add her as a friend on Facebook.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i immediately felt like a creep.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">at what point are you not allowed to be Facebook friends with 21-year-old girls who aren't in your family? because i think that "what is 28?" may be the answer that Alex Trebek is looking for.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">my new Facebook friend's cover photo featured a celebratory shot from the girl's 21st birthday. you know, normal stuff for a college kid. do you know what pictures i'm used to seeing from the females on my timeline? an abundance of photos of the kids that nobody really cares about (i'm not talking about your kids _________________________, keep posting pictures of that adorable little bugger). </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i used to laugh at the creepsters in the newsroom who were friends with all of the young interns on Facebook. i don't think that i am old enough to earn a membership to the Creep Lounge, but the recruitment brochures have started showing up in my mailbox. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">so there you go. i am a 28-year-old who needs to deactivate his Facebook account. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">TLC, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlZydtG3xqI">play us out</a>.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-36877606294189743632014-02-10T18:18:00.001-06:002014-02-10T18:18:34.093-06:00i did not enjoy my carb-less week<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5a6rjDkBCI_QHBd2cvjlGSfNlJTrhkGp-b7JgfGzgjVwSlI_sX0pWD9phiOjND-LS82I5GJxys8P-2k5tdaknyodNuCP3y57L9-yE5EuFCZs1TMKAIiBORfj_Z-S9PZXxemWtUWTWnU3j/s1600/no-bread.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5a6rjDkBCI_QHBd2cvjlGSfNlJTrhkGp-b7JgfGzgjVwSlI_sX0pWD9phiOjND-LS82I5GJxys8P-2k5tdaknyodNuCP3y57L9-yE5EuFCZs1TMKAIiBORfj_Z-S9PZXxemWtUWTWnU3j/s1600/no-bread.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>-5.4</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">last week may have been the worst week of my life.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">no, Chastity didn't leave me. i didn't have to attend any funerals. aside from a sore throat on Saturday, my health was fine. the Browns weren't playing, so they didn't lose any games. and heck, the Ball Bustas only lost by four runs in our season opener.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">kids, last week sucked because i wasn't allowed to have carbs.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Chastity thought that it would be a fun idea to cut carbs out of last week's diet. so i couldn't have pasta or bread or cereal or rice or chips or potatoes or pizza. i still had some things that had carbohydrates in them (ex. dairy products), but most of the carb-associated goods were dropped from the menu at Casa de Davis.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">my breakfasts throughout the week consisted of milk and bananas, and i ate crouton-less salads for lunch. we were able to throw together some carb-free dinners that weren't terrible. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">but i did run into some problem on Tuesday night.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i had to cover a basketball game, so i was not going to be eating until after 10. that's too late to fire up the stove. but do you know how hard it is to find a carb-free meal at that time of the night that doesn't have carbs? Wendy's doesn't have a carb-free menu.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">so i had a milkshake for dinner, which was a move that probably got me nowhere on the whole "trying to be healthy" plan.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">so that was my carb-free week. we had to go to a family celebration at a Golden Corral on Saturday, so i was able to inhale carbs again. i, of course, felt like garbage on Saturday night, but i felt a temporary bout of glee as i dined at the Corral's taco bar.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Chastity has announced that she will be giving up carbs for Lent. i will not be fully giving up carbs (no sugar for me), but Chastity's choices will still impact my diet over those 40 nights. so i will probably be complaining about my pasta-less dinners throughout the month of April.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Joe, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tE56SMO3FQQ">play us out</a>.</span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-53088747315970023422014-02-02T13:15:00.003-06:002014-02-02T13:17:20.512-06:00pizza and Janet Jackson: my memories of Super Bowl XXXVIII<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH5XJnHXlYT8qvxR8qNKd-lQcDuMmkUk4Gfb31jAJAa5eMmPp1sZzIvrUfXbaSVAEoqoo91Xujd_kEoeiv6hPSVTZcBhdOmkUFXc0iqKDD4IXyUqVGUyvtIpcJ_r6I9SUX_lnIIvC0KtGe/s1600/justin-timberlake-janet-jackson--large-msg-131118868733.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH5XJnHXlYT8qvxR8qNKd-lQcDuMmkUk4Gfb31jAJAa5eMmPp1sZzIvrUfXbaSVAEoqoo91Xujd_kEoeiv6hPSVTZcBhdOmkUFXc0iqKDD4IXyUqVGUyvtIpcJ_r6I9SUX_lnIIvC0KtGe/s1600/justin-timberlake-janet-jackson--large-msg-131118868733.jpg" height="230" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>-4.6</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">in a few hours, i will throw a little bit of homemade queso into a bowl and enjoy the 48th Super Bowl. i'm picking the Seahawks to win because there are few things that i hate more than the Denver Broncos. i also believe that the Seahawks are the better team.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">but we aren't here to talk about this evening's game. we are here to talk about the 2004 Super Bowl.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">yes, it's been 10 years since Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">where were you when our society was irreparably damaged by Justin Timberlake's smooth vocal and Janet Jackson's right boob? i know where i was. i was a freshman in college and i was working at Domino's.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">yes, i was working the Sunday shift during Super Bowl XXXVIII. things died down around halftime, so i was sent home and i got back to my dorm room during the third quarter.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">now, these were the pre-Twitter and Facebook days. my phone didn't even have texting abilities until my sophomore or junior year. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">so when i walked into my room in Aber Hall, i was greeted by my roommate and his buddies screaming "You would not believe what you just missed!!!" i expected to hear about some great catch or an 80-yard touchdown run, but i was instead told about Janet and Justin's performance.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">and since we were college students, we spent the next 30 minutes ignoring the game and trying to find photos and videos on the world wide web.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">so those are my recollections of Super Bowl XXXVIII's halftime show. my innocence was partially spared since i did not see the live performance, but my eardrums were tortured for the next few years as the Super Bowl booked people like Paul McCartney, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers and The Who to perform at halftime.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Justin Timberlake, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSVHoHyErBQ">play us out</a>.</span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-59114950352414359922014-01-28T19:32:00.001-06:002014-01-28T19:36:23.557-06:00we somehow survived the winter weather<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKeIysBID4EQ2knMmdMkSOIclMcr8YNhM0wR_ubSMw9jWHY8LMf3puQ1x1a6ppSxceIjtxN1JMOd7RyFVLkbe04jTZGrYOR1equPccPD532_CR9tcDLpt-GDzZEED8rc_vcMEztVdmNPAA/s1600/northeast_snow-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKeIysBID4EQ2knMmdMkSOIclMcr8YNhM0wR_ubSMw9jWHY8LMf3puQ1x1a6ppSxceIjtxN1JMOd7RyFVLkbe04jTZGrYOR1equPccPD532_CR9tcDLpt-GDzZEED8rc_vcMEztVdmNPAA/s1600/northeast_snow-2.jpg" height="187" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>-3</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i don't know if you keep up with the news in Austin, but the city has been hit by some harsh weather over the past couple of days. i mean, there is a reason that i am writing this blog during a time that i would usually be covering a basketball game.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">inclement weather closed down most of the area's schools on Friday and Tuesday, and most of the area's athletic events were postponed and cancelled. if you ignore the fact that you could have worn shorts on Saturday and Sunday, you can understand how serious this weather was.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">how harsh was our winter weather? take a look at <a href="http://republicofaustin.com/2014/01/24/8-horrifying-photos-of-austins-snow-day-snowpocalypse-2014/">this blog entry</a> and send me your pity. it was even worse on Tuesday as the ice that we had accumulated didn't leave the scene until at least noon.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">ha.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">of course, insurance providers probably weren't laughing this morning because there were hundreds of reported accidents. but instead of hating the ice, maybe some blame should be shifted to the fact that Texans can't drive in non-sunny weather (have you ever tried to drive in this city during a rainstorm?) and the state has opted against combating these "winter" storms with some preventative measures.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">but come on.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">as you all know, i grew up in Montana. i wore shorts in December. i had baseball games in the spring that were snowed out. my parents let me drive in the winter when i was 16. snow and ice do not scare me.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">(an aside: i am petrified by the thought of driving alongside Texans who are scared by snow and ice.)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i have witnessed two snow days over the past week. during the 17 years that i was educated in Montana, i didn't get a single snow day. during my sophomore year of high school, we received a good deal of snow and the pipes outside of Senior High froze and burst. the school had no running water but instead of sending us home, the administration just brought in porta-potties and told us that we had better not get thirsty. oh, and the football game that we had scheduled for the following day? we still played it. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">if the aforementioned scenario had happened in Texas, the kids would have gotten three weeks off. if you don't believe me, ask a Texan. actually don't ask a Texan because they are incredibly sensitive when it comes to out-of-staters calling them weather wimps.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">but whatever, it's supposed to be 78 on Friday. so i guess that the worst is behind us... until the next time that the temperatures dip below 50.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Michael Buble, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5daQbThsDU">play us out</a>. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-70889706016499362032014-01-17T11:39:00.002-06:002014-01-17T11:39:46.884-06:00i'm not going to see one of the year's best movies<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIdWutaOIreJsl8mAs0BdyrSwKdnGcfj91c72lQxcXIfQVVIl1noP8EH1zKeqn0V0Hq4Oox1rtkfNuTx5h093IW5HmQvngywU5nVO0TK_6zmpGSCUGNQq_BD2yJWMhbgDikikRNuCPB8VK/s1600/index.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIdWutaOIreJsl8mAs0BdyrSwKdnGcfj91c72lQxcXIfQVVIl1noP8EH1zKeqn0V0Hq4Oox1rtkfNuTx5h093IW5HmQvngywU5nVO0TK_6zmpGSCUGNQq_BD2yJWMhbgDikikRNuCPB8VK/s1600/index.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>- 4.4</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">it's the middle of January, so i guess it's time to talk about movies that i haven't seen. the nominees for the annual Academy Awards were released this week, and i can tell you absolutely nothing about this year's field.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">here are the nominees for the "Best Movie" category:</span></span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUQNjfhlREk">12 Years a Slave</a>" </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST7a1aK_lG0">American Hustle</a>" </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3ASoBrFGlc">Captain Phillips</a>" </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvMPU0WaPcc">Dallas Buyers Club</a>" </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiTiKOy59o4">Gravity</a>"
</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QRvTv_tpw0">Her</a>"
</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UT5tqPojMtg">Nebraska</a>" </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rG3QP8foCvg">Philomena</a>"</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iszwuX1AK6A">The Wolf of Wall Street</a>"
</span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i have seen none of those movies, although that statement deserves an asterisk. i know plenty of old people from Billings, so i feel like i've seen "Nebraska". i'm also adopted, so can i just say that "Philomena" is an autobiography with British actors? </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the movies that i saw in 2013?</span></span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVkzZD92cMQ">A Good Day To Die Hard</a>"</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yma-g4gTwlE">This Is The End</a>"</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EC7P5WdUko">World War Z</a>"</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUA7rr0bOcc">The Butler</a>"</span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so i have some catching up to do. since i am naming my firstborn Jackie Denzel Davis, i still need to see "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9RHqdZDCF0">42</a>" and "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVNe3RK2fgI">2 Guns</a>". i will eventually see "American Hustle", "Nebraska" and "The Wolf of Wall Street".</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">one movie that i absolutely will not see? 12 Years A Slave.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i've heard nothing but good things about the movie, and i am sure that it is a solid film. but you know what? i already know that slavery was terrible. why do i need to sit through a 134-minute reminder?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i won't get anything out of watching a movie like that. in fact, i am more likely to leave the movie theater in a sour mood, and why would i pay $10 for that? </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">when we went to see "The Butler", we were the only African-Americans in the theater and we were also the only people who didn't clap at the end of the movie. i mean, what? the African-Americans were denigrated for much of that movie and we're going to give a round of applause because the black staff got a raise and the butler got to meet President Obama in the final scene? were these same people giving a standing ovation during the last scene of Schindler's List too? </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so there are some movies that i need to see before the start unsealing those envelopes <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/16/showbiz/2014-oscar-nominations-list/index.html">on March 2</a>. but there is one movie that i won't be able to judge, and i am OK with that.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Lamorris Williams, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSa1NHVoU7g">play us out</a>.</span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-87466699887251486002014-01-16T13:35:00.003-06:002014-01-16T13:36:04.643-06:00what kind of guy am i at the gym?<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMBY74T72M9Qsqk165jJx-HxcC8QA2QaxCYJV4ATygzy0EPCYGKWBB0xsCO9cYTd703Myxd2bNxysWXCI1m2CbgtGDty3JZ_ul5GHqNbxID0dcOCXj-j3M8-JFafkdsuw7_YuCQ_l6Pux4/s1600/ben-stiller-dodgeball.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMBY74T72M9Qsqk165jJx-HxcC8QA2QaxCYJV4ATygzy0EPCYGKWBB0xsCO9cYTd703Myxd2bNxysWXCI1m2CbgtGDty3JZ_ul5GHqNbxID0dcOCXj-j3M8-JFafkdsuw7_YuCQ_l6Pux4/s1600/ben-stiller-dodgeball.jpg" height="150" width="320" /></a></div>
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">- 2.6</span></span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in a few minutes, i will go jump on the treadmill and get my jog on. we'll be running to songs that begin with the letter "L" today, so my eardrums can expect a steady dose of "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmXumtgwtak">Lose Yourself</a>", "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6pLV9xZczM">The Love You Save</a>" and "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ob7vObnFUJc">Love On Top</a>." but more about that in a second...</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">before i head to the apartment complex's gym, i'd like to talk about everything that is wrong with gyms.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a few days ago, one of my friends posted a video on Facebook. the video was essentially six minutes of gym stereotypes.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/nU4EJfX2aXE" width="560"></iframe></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i am not a perfect man, so i have occasionally been to a couple of these stereotypes. what gym rules do i break?</span></span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i have occasionally been "Mr. Excuses."</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i have occasionally been "The Treadmill Sprinter."</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i have occasionally been "The Justifier."</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i have occasionally been "The Singer"... OK, i am always "The Singer."</span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but i have never been "The Screamer" or "The Yoga Guy" or "The Hunger Gather-er." and ugh, "The Sweaty Guy"... i hate that guy.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i haven't been "The Naked Old Guy" yet, but just wait... that's going down as soon as i hit 65.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Justin Timberlake, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUuKvHHt8Sk">play us out</a>.</span></span><br />
<br />Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-35062518319662164702014-01-08T12:31:00.004-06:002014-01-08T12:32:42.875-06:00RA Horror Stories: Sorry About Your Jeans<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBmfbbfDhqSwCPfKmTsXX7sgTxOfguK5ZkNxPASBLfeczVPl0zbyCBrC0dzCieo1_lbyhL5DiWBusC6N6qdM67Oycc7bg6oy66VxLswzd69bAyLMlhRguluSidJOwoRpwLHMU9L-zPkgOv/s1600/senior_ra_article.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBmfbbfDhqSwCPfKmTsXX7sgTxOfguK5ZkNxPASBLfeczVPl0zbyCBrC0dzCieo1_lbyhL5DiWBusC6N6qdM67Oycc7bg6oy66VxLswzd69bAyLMlhRguluSidJOwoRpwLHMU9L-zPkgOv/s1600/senior_ra_article.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>-3.2</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">once
upon a time, i was a resident assistant at the University of Montana.
over the course of three years, i met a lot of people, made some
money, and ate about 500 Country Store breakfast burritos on the
university's dime. i had a good run.
</span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">but
i'm not here to wax poetic about my days in Craig Hall and Jesse Hall.
because it wasn't all peaches and cream in the Residence Life Office. in
fact, i had to witness a few things that i can't un-see because
freshman college students are, for the most part, terrible people.</span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">it's
time for another installment of the "RA Horror Stories" series. all of
these events happened to me during my days as an RA (Fall
2004-Spring 2007), and i somehow survived all of these horrific events.
so my pain is your gain.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>RA Horror Story #4: Sorry About Your Jeans</b></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">for this story, we are heading back to Jesse Hall. of course.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">on back-to-back weekends during the 2005 spring semester, some joker decided to pull the fire alarm after midnight.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">so drunk kids (and less-than-sober RAs...) were forced to wake up and trudge outside in their pajamas. we'd then wait around until the fire department got to the dorms and decided that our lives weren't in danger. it was always a fun experience.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">during the first false alarm, someone dumped some soap in the stairwell. but that actually wasn't the horror story that i am writing about today. we're here to talk about the second false alarm.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">on that fateful Friday night, some wise guy pulled the alarm. everyone stumbled out of the dorm. we waited for 10 minutes. everyone was allowed to go inside. i went back to bed.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">horrific, right?</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">on the following Monday, i returned to the dorm after class and i noticed that a lot of RAs were in the main office. i popped in and heard my boss tell a story about a phone call that he had received from an angry parent.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">it turns out that one of our female residents had left her door open when she and her roommate exited the building during the early-morning shenanigans. after she left, someone else wandered by the open room, entered the room and opened the girl's drawer. that mystery resident then defecated on the girl's jeans.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">yes, that actually happened. this poor girl was awoken by a false alarm and returned to find out that someone had crapped on her jeans.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">that will ruin a weekend.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Jhene Aiko, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEm3lY3trRU">play us out</a>. </span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-83908684177515050522014-01-06T09:57:00.004-06:002014-01-06T10:32:41.045-06:00Saturday Night Live's Best Work<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>-2.2</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">on Saturday night, NBC ran a show of Saturday Night Live's best skits from its current season. aside from an Anne Hathaway sketch from last season, the 90-minute show did showcase some of the best skits from the first half of the 2013-14 season.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i have really enjoyed this season of Saturday Night Live. the show had lost its DVR status and i didn't expect it to regain its appeal after the defections that the cast had suffered over the past two years. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">but maybe Kristen Wiig was the problem for me, because i have liked the work that this cast has produced and the guest hosts have been solid. Cecily Strong has surged to the top of my list of celebrity crushes (let's just officially make her the BBoB's 15th inductee). Kenan Thompson has been solid, i laugh at anything that Aidy Bryant is in and i want to become couple friends with Taran Killam (his wife is HIMYM's Colbie Smulders).</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">so SNL is back.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">but let's go back to Saturday night's show. my view of "best skits" doesn't necessarily match up with NBC's because i probably would have only aired three or four of those sketches in my "best of" show.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">so today's blog is going to be a "best of" run down from this year's 39th season. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">there have been 10 episodes this season, so we'll just choose a skit from each episode. OK? ok.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><iframe frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=n41324" width="560"></iframe><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Episode 1: Airport (Tina Fey)</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Have you ever been to the Denver airport? I hate that place.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Ik1bdoufPt0" width="560"></iframe></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Episode 2: "We Did Stop" (Miley Cyrus)</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I loved the "<a href="http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/mornin-miami/n41631/">Morning Miami</a>" skit from this show, but this was just a funny take on the ridiculous government shutdown and the even more ridiculous "We Can't Stop" music video. Plus, it's been a few months and i still crack up at Jay Pharoah's Obama impression at the 2:20 mark</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><iframe frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=n41901" width="560"></iframe></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Episode 3: Black Ops (Bruce Willis)</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I do like a good <a href="http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/boy-dance-party/n41903/">boy dance party</a>, but I've also seen the latest Die Hard movie... so this wins.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><iframe frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=n42641" width="560"></iframe> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Episode 5: Michelle Obama at the White House (Kerry Washington)</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I really didn't like the Edward Norton episode, so we are going to pick two sketches from the Kerry Washington appearance. first up, the cold open. here's <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/03/snl-black-women_n_4208192.html">some background</a> on the sketch, which i thought was hilarious.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><iframe frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=n42645" width="560"></iframe> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Episode 5: How's He Doing? (Kerry Washington)</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"You watched The Wire, you ain't volunteer at a school."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><iframe frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=n43348" width="560"></iframe></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Episode 6: Weekend Update: Jebidiah Atkinson (Lady Gaga)</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">you can take your Drunk Uncle, i'll be just fine with weekly visits from this speech critic. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Episode 7: Josie (Josh Hutcherson)</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">80s music <a href="http://dailypicksandflicks.com/2013/11/24/snl-josie-skit-video/">is fun</a>.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><iframe frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=n44030" width="560"></iframe> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b> </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Episode 8: Weekend Update: Jebidiah Atkinson Reviews Holiday Movies (Paul Rudd)</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">he's back.<b> </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><iframe frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=n44347" width="560"></iframe></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Episode 9: H&M (John Goodman)</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i've been in an H&M store before. this commercial seems accurate.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><iframe frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=n44605" width="560"></iframe> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: small;">Episode 10: (Do It On My) Twin Bed (Jimmy Fallon)</span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">the <a href="http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/family-feud/n44603/">Family Feud sketch</a> was fun, but SNL just knows how to produce a Christmas song. a few years ago, they gave us the "D*** in a Box" and now they released this classic video. and those childhood photos... awesome.<b> </b></span>
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">SNL returns on Jan. 18 with Drake. i will be watching.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Miley Cyrus, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8uppUf2Qi0">play us out</a>.</span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-49016603024375518772014-01-05T12:17:00.001-06:002014-01-05T12:17:39.534-06:00A new year, the same resolution<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ6Fn25XTyxcbX4UvIXmgkLeB0nKTXFrkZZZtpSxxXoU8gweMZSGixoqRV2eJUcnXDwvai6JERLLAdzY3NBbD_ui4y4NOF2GwVoQI2aJxpNOseMXLHsbUfA0o_U1_l9M3SCzWEHAqkQ3i_/s1600/calvin-hobbes-new-years-resolutions.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ6Fn25XTyxcbX4UvIXmgkLeB0nKTXFrkZZZtpSxxXoU8gweMZSGixoqRV2eJUcnXDwvai6JERLLAdzY3NBbD_ui4y4NOF2GwVoQI2aJxpNOseMXLHsbUfA0o_U1_l9M3SCzWEHAqkQ3i_/s320/calvin-hobbes-new-years-resolutions.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b>-1</b><br />
<br />
well, it's 2014.<br />
<br />
since we've reached the new year, i guess that it's time for a resolution. as usual, i have goals for work and my personal life. i'd also like to lose some weight this year.<br />
<br />
the weight loss isn't really a "new" resolution. it's actually something that i say to myself in January on an annual basis.<br />
<br />
i grew up as a skinny kid. i was a wide receiver in high school and my playing weight during my senior year was around 180 pounds. i was one of those boys that could eat anything... mostly because my food intake was somewhat negated by the physical activities in my life (gym class, my paper route, football). <br />
<br />
i exercised less when i got to college, but i didn't quit eating. i lived on campus and had a meal plan for four years, so it was tough to resist those breakfast burritos in the Country Store and the all-you-can-eat lines at the Food Zoo. those late-night pizza runs and my discovery of beer probably didn't help.<br />
<br />
so i gained the freshman 15... and then some. i don't remember what i weighed when i left Missoula in May of 2007, but i will estimate that it was around 230. <br />
<br />
bad, right? well... on the first day of this new year, my scale read 269.4 pounds. yikes.<br />
<br />
i actually haven't gained any weight over the past couple of years. i gained a lot of weight over my first couple of years in Austin, but i moved back into the 230s in 2010 as my old college roommate and i did a "weight loss challenge" before his wedding in that August.<br />
<br />
but after the challenge ended, my desire to lose weight evaporated and the weight quickly crept back on. that's always been my problem, i guess. i will go through phases where i will be motivated to exercise... and then there's a lull of nothing.<br />
<br />
so here we are. it's 2014 and i have the same goals. why should this year be any different?<br />
<br />
first off, i am getting married this summer and in addition to wanting to look good for my bride, i am somewhat vain. i would rather not look like a complete fatso in my wedding photos. i don't expect to be showing off a six-pack in Jamaica, but i would prefer for it to not look like i was concealing a complete keg.<br />
<br />
i was also inspired by something that a friend recently said when he revealed that he had lost around 80 pounds. he said that his weight gain had been selfish, and that weight gain wasn't fair to his wife or the baby that was due in a couple of months.<br />
<br />
Chastity isn't pregnant, but she is about to become my wife and we will hopefully have a kid or two. i would like to be around for a while so that i can celebrate anniversaries and getting old with Chastity. i would like to witness my kids' graduations, dance recitals (Chastity says our girls, if we have them, will be in dance class), sporting events (I say our girls, if we have them, will play softball) and weddings.<br />
<br />
of course, i don't know what God has is store for my ending. i could get hit by a bus tomorrow. but i feel that there are things that i can do to protect my heart and body. i've been lucky enough that despite my terrible eating habits, my cholesterol levels are still good and i haven't developed diabetes. but that won't continue if i keep up my unhealthy habits. <br />
<br />
so i am going to try to lose weight this year. i am not going to set a target number, but i am going to lose the weight. i am going to eat better, i am going to exercise a lot and i am going to blog.<br />
<br />
wait, blog?<br />
<br />
i recently signed up for an Instagram account and last week, i began to pose pictures of my treadmill before i climbed on for a workout. when Chastity asked me why i was doing that, i said that if i posted treadmill pictures with consistency, someone might call me out if i quit posting those pictures (because i presumably wasn't working out).<br />
<br />
i figured that i can apply the same logic with my blog.<br />
<br />
you'll notice that there was a bold number at the beginning of this blog entry. those numbers are going to top every blog entry for the next year, and they'll represent the amount of weight that i have lost (or gained) since the beginning of the year.<br />
<br />
for example, i weighed in at 268.4 pounds before i started writing today's blog entry. so that is why there is a "-1" up there.<br />
<br />
perhaps if i hold myself accountable to the few people who still read this blog, i will be more motivated to keep working toward my goal. because i'm getting older now, and i can't just be thinking about myself.<br />
<br />
so that is that. it's 2014 and i will be blogging more and trying to lose some weight. let's see how this goes.<br />
<br />
Olivia Newton John, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWz9VN40nCA">play us out</a>.Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-13698681601589795452013-07-29T18:32:00.002-05:002013-07-29T18:36:15.741-05:00a ranking of The Cosby Show introductions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibl9Zky4y7WyyFb9p7kUyz5iix9BV5Cif47sfN9m4dHc-FIGuy2UBauqDdix-6cncMkUp17JcS3227VTMg4Vq9jrDdbx5r0tO6SiaY4EjmiiAT4sSLuYfdAhPk0qGm6ZQHh1LGN1DcSzUX/s1600/hqdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibl9Zky4y7WyyFb9p7kUyz5iix9BV5Cif47sfN9m4dHc-FIGuy2UBauqDdix-6cncMkUp17JcS3227VTMg4Vq9jrDdbx5r0tO6SiaY4EjmiiAT4sSLuYfdAhPk0qGm6ZQHh1LGN1DcSzUX/s320/hqdefault.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">for some reason, Malcolm-Jamal Warner was recently on Katie Couric's talk show. i didn't watch, mostly because i have better things to do with my time than watch Katie Couric's talk show.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the topic of The Cosby Show's iconic intros <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/29/malcolm-jamal-warner-cosby-show_n_3661729.html">came up on Friday's show</a>. and ol' Theo announced that the fifth season's introduction was his least favorite. and that make sense because that intro was not Cosby's best work.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">where do i rank the fifth season's intro? let's rank those intros was best to worst.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/ZHC-YsXYTsg" width="420"></iframe></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Season 6-7:</b> this is the winner. and it's not close. the dancing is fun, the music is great. there is an added bonus for every one of the cast members (except for Pam) being in this introduction.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/fxch2td-uNA" width="420"></iframe></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Season 4:</b> smooth clothes. smooth moves. and a Lisa Bonet shout-out. nice.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/ioa0-cZAO6M" width="420"></iframe></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Season 2:</b> what did we learn from this introduction? Vanessa and Rudy can dance. and i have no idea what Theo was doing.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/OS6wZl7G-QE" width="420"></iframe></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Season 3:</b> i still don't know what Theo is doing.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Dj08HK6WeYI" width="420"></iframe><br /></span></span>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Season 8:</b> meh. </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/jbVVsP0uins" width="420"></iframe></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Season 5: </b>the Caribbean dancing was just... weird. but Vanessa's hair looks fantastic.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/gZZu1OHTQMg" width="420"></iframe><br /></span></span>
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Season 1</b>: there is no dancing in this introduction and Sondra doesn't exist either. the cinematography also leaves a lot to be desired.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that's it. that's the list.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Robin Thicke and Bill Cosby, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crBNdOREZE0">play us out</a>.</span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-56663225269332865052013-07-27T20:24:00.001-05:002013-07-27T20:24:24.806-05:00RA Horror Stories: A Drunken History Lesson<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIB5JGEOPNMxKQ6XaSEpf8FJKgqSO5_-Q1M7ieRy4kvWY89iW-9r2tILBus0C7mO7JZGVrF0dMrgRz4WHenraBM5gBJzJMlho2tHc4HbocKOGjqYdo270pwXm8el0eCwZ_GfMF8H_VvF1k/s1600/tumblr_mgsvj8mKpT1rt5qjmo1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIB5JGEOPNMxKQ6XaSEpf8FJKgqSO5_-Q1M7ieRy4kvWY89iW-9r2tILBus0C7mO7JZGVrF0dMrgRz4WHenraBM5gBJzJMlho2tHc4HbocKOGjqYdo270pwXm8el0eCwZ_GfMF8H_VvF1k/s320/tumblr_mgsvj8mKpT1rt5qjmo1_1280.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">once
upon a time, i was a resident assistant at the University of Montana.
over the course of three years, i met a lot of people, made some
money, and ate about 500 Country Store breakfast burritos on the
university's dime. i had a good run.</span></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but
i'm not here to wax poetic about my days in Craig Hall and Jesse Hall.
because it wasn't all peaches and cream in the Residence Life Office. in
fact, i had to witness a few things that i can't un-see because
freshman college students are, for the most part, terrible people.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">it's
time for another installment of the "RA Horror Stories" series. all of
these events happened to me during my days as an RA (Fall
2004-Spring 2007), and i somehow survived all of these horrific events.
so my pain is your gain.</span></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>RA Horror Story #2: A Drunken History Lesson</b></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">as a writer and columnist at the Montana Kaimin, i was used to football players directing their anger at me. i had a couple of threats sent my way, a few derogatory terms may have been spoken in my direction while i was downtown, and there were a few times when i was scared to go into the restroom at Stock's by myself.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">one time, however, i was verbally attacked in my room by a football player. because i was reading a book.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b> </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">during a Saturday night during my senior night, i was "in" for the evening. and for the most part, i maintained an open door policy during my "in" nights. literally, i kept my door open. my kids were up to no good, someone had to keep an eye on them.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">on the night in question, i was studying for a test in my Civil War class. and by studying, i mean that i was finally reading the book that our Monday test would be based on.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">during this enthralling read, i was inturrupted by a football player, who had come back from an evening of socializing. i liked the kid and he didn't seem to hate me so we chatted for a few minutes before he asked me what i was reading.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">now, this football player was a southern gentleman. and apparently the South's view on the Civil War differs from what i was in my history classes.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">after finding out about my reading selection, the football player launched into a 10-minute tirade about the Civil War and the inaccuracies that the world's history teachers had shoved down our throats. some of his beef wasn't incorrect (true, the civil war wasn't technically about slavery), but nonsense comprised 75 percent of the things he was preaching about.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so yea, imagine a white football player yelling about the Civil War to the university's African-American sports editor. it was just odd.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the football player's teammate/roommate eventually dragged him - kicking and screaming - back to his room. and i never heard him talk about the Civil War again. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but in a year in which that resident hid a shotgun and a puppy in his room, dated a high school student and came within a few seconds of murdering his neighbor, our "conversation" about the Civil War is always the first thing that i think about whenever his name comes up. good times.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Billy Joel, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g">play us out</a>.</span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-58686086078438060542013-07-25T11:19:00.003-05:002013-07-25T11:23:38.144-05:00RA Horror Stories: The Poop War<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfpbpX-y_UhM_XR8o15AvRp1vh0UlaiK0VHu2qrkaEdZePkdOE6-n4H8p0XVgA_rxTpL9BPO2RbrI5bVnucgLJl9YXY0xqRlKKxO5_92f9oXm4gyBcNpNZ3ayW2Tn5qSoFg34SN9y2QBGK/s1600/resident_assistant_appreciation_tank_top.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfpbpX-y_UhM_XR8o15AvRp1vh0UlaiK0VHu2qrkaEdZePkdOE6-n4H8p0XVgA_rxTpL9BPO2RbrI5bVnucgLJl9YXY0xqRlKKxO5_92f9oXm4gyBcNpNZ3ayW2Tn5qSoFg34SN9y2QBGK/s1600/resident_assistant_appreciation_tank_top.jpg" /></a></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">once upon a time, i was a resident assistant at the University of Montana. over the course of three years, i met a lot of people, made some
money, and ate about 500 Country Store breakfast burritos on the
university's dime. i had a good run.</span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but
i'm not here to wax poetic about my days in Craig Hall and Jesse Hall.
because it wasn't all peaches and cream in the Residence Life Office. in
fact, i had to witness a few things that i can't un-see because
freshman college students are, for the most part, terrible people.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">it's time for another installment of the "RA Horror Stories" series. all of these events happened to me during my days as an RA (Fall
2004-Spring 2007), and i somehow survived all of these horrific events.
so my pain is your gain.</span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>RA Horror Story #2: The Poop War </b></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">as an RA, there are few things that are more unpleasant than a knock on your door before 9 in the morning. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">why? because if someone is knocking on your door at that time, one of your residents has either done something stupid or one of your residents has had something stupid done to them. that's it. that's the list. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">nobody is delivering pizza to your door at 9 in the morning. no male resident needs to be consoled at 9 in the morning. signing telegrams aren't delivered at that hour. once again, if someone is knocking at that hour, you've just got to brace for some bad news.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">for this story, we're returning to Jesse Hall. Jesse Hall is actually where a lot of these stories took place. unlike Wednesday's tale, however, this story took place on the third floor, which was my floor.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i was getting ready for class (note: this story happened in the middle of the week). i heard a knock at my door around 8. it was the building's head janitor.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">hoping that one of my residents had just clogged the toilets or managed to start the elevators on fire, i asked what was up. the janitor said a couple of words and then escorted me down the hallway.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />the hallways in Jesse Hall were shaped like "L"s. so when we arrived at the east/west side's trash chute, the janitor asked me if i knew what the brown substance on the wall was. i prayed that it was chocolate pudding.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">it was not chocolate pudding.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">it turns out that my floor was engulfed in a civil war that should have been fought on the bathroom's battlefield, not in the hallways. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">one side of the third floor had sent a few of its residents to pee on the carpet on the other side's turf. the other side of the floor responded by smearing feces on their opponents' wall. for the first and only time in my RA career, i hoped that alcohol was involved in this decision-making.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so a mandatory floor meeting was called, not that a meeting to talk about the proper place to smear feces could be expected to accomplish much. and the janitors begrudgingly cleaned up the mess, which led to work requests on the third floor taking a little longer to process for the remainder of the school year. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">moral of the story: if you're an RA and someone knocks on your door before 9 a.m., don't answer. if you're an RA and a janitor knocks on your door before 9 a.m., just grab a mop and don't ask any questions. it's probably easier that way.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The Black Eyes Peas, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpYeekQkAdc">play us out</a>.</span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-54013762426720736912013-07-24T11:42:00.002-05:002013-07-24T16:10:45.730-05:00RA Horror Stories: The Second Floor's Orgy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbpfeFxwbOdKewnynfaBSnyMopYrKDTovp2ceXt9jDOzBO6GpySPg6mFOZBuE3EiPTG3yOEWVR7r33Hy0ns6HzNSsxMy12gzPJNRseR0kLA1FR-3pzJxTK7ZxtyT36hvTznnI_npDBOcIY/s1600/RA+Seclection+logo+13-14web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbpfeFxwbOdKewnynfaBSnyMopYrKDTovp2ceXt9jDOzBO6GpySPg6mFOZBuE3EiPTG3yOEWVR7r33Hy0ns6HzNSsxMy12gzPJNRseR0kLA1FR-3pzJxTK7ZxtyT36hvTznnI_npDBOcIY/s320/RA+Seclection+logo+13-14web.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">On his blog on Tuesday, my friend Brent <a href="http://brentreser.com/2013/07/my-time-as-a-resident-assistant/">looked back on his days</a> as an RA at the University of Montana. and that got me thinking.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">see, i was also an RA for three years. i met a lot of people, made some money, and ate about 500 Country Store breakfast burritos on the university's dime. i had a good run.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but i'm not here to wax poetic about my days in Craig Hall and Jesse Hall. because it wasn't all peaches and cream in the Residence Life Office. in fact, i had to witness a few things that i can't un-see because freshman college students are, for the most part, terrible people.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so i am going to kick off a new series on this Wednesday. and in each installment of this series, i will be telling the tale of an "RA Horror Story". all of these events happened to me during my days as an RA (Fall 2004-Spring 2007), and i somehow survived all of these horrific events. so my pain is your gain.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">we'll kick things off with the story that i've told the most. the tale of the second floor's orgy.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>RA Horror Story #1: The Second Floor's Orgy.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>some much-needed background information:</b> the other RA in this story was a 19-year-old who had, to this point, never been kissed and was the daughter of a preacher... i was a 19-year-old virgin who taught abstinence classes to junior high students while in high school, so it wasn't like my sexual knowledge was on point... some of the RAs, myself included, were supplied with condoms for our residents to take because they were either getting lucky or acting like they were getting lucky... Jesse Hall, the dorm where this story took place, was a dorm full of derelicts. there is a good chance that Robyn and her fellow angels may have been the only residents from that hellhole that ended up graduating.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">got it? good.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so twice every night, resident assistants are required to go on "rounds". essentially, the RAs walk each floor to check if there is any mischief going on. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">on this fateful night, we were nearly done with one of our rounds when we passed a second-floor room. we heard some clinking bottles. it was go time. we knocked on the door. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">after waiting for a couple of minutes and hearing more bottles and quotes like "Ssssh! it's the RAs!!!", the door was finally opened. and we were greeted by one of the room's residents... who was just wearing his boxers.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">as many of you know, boxers have that little flap in the front, and this young gentleman's penis was hanging out of his flap. it took a few seconds, but we both noticed this wardrobe malfunction.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">as i previously stated, the other RA had never been kissed before, so my guess is that this was the first penis that she had seen in the flesh. and the traumatized girl broke down into a hysterical laughter and was utterly useless for the rest of the story. i was left to play the bad (and good) cop.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"so do you want to put your penis away," i said.*</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"oh sorry man, my bad!," he said.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"so what are you guys doing in there? sounds like you guys are having a fun party," i said.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"oh, we aren't drinking. a bunch of us are just hanging out," he said.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"come on. i don't think many people just hang out in their boxers," i said.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">suddenly, the resident got surprisingly agitated.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"this is all your fault," he said to me.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"um, what?"</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"you RAs keep those condoms in your room. and we come by and grab some, but we don't use all of them. so we have a bunch stocked up..."</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"i don't understand what you are you talking about," i said as another barely clothed resident came to the door.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"ummm... we were having an orgy."</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that was the magical four-letter word. i mean, what do you say to that? game. over.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">stunned by the news, i just muttered that the kids had two minutes to get their clothes on and vacate the floor. the resident closed the door, and two minutes later, about 10-15 freshmen piled out of the room.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but something was off. i wasn't the world's biggest sex expert, but these kids looked awfully put-together for a group that had just been tearing into each other. also, the ugly dude-to-cute girl ratio in this equation was absurdly off-balance.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so after all of the kids had left, i pulled the room's two residents aside. i granted them immunity, but told them not to lie to me. what was happening that night?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the kids told be that everyone had been drinking in the room. they heard a knock on the door. someone suggested that they lie and say that they were having an orgy, because what RA would want to clean that mess up. the star of the show disrobed and pulled his penis out of his boxer.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">i was angry that i was lied to, but i was also kind of impressed that the kids were able to think on their feet that quickly. all me and the other RA could do was shrug that one off.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the end.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Salt N Pepa, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzfo4txaQJA">play us out</a>.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">* there is no way that those were the exact words that i used. but this is a family-friendly story about a fake orgy. </span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619619456005343803.post-51080359869223588802013-07-10T18:31:00.002-05:002013-07-10T18:35:06.209-05:00i've cut my hair and shaved my face<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2HAQJy9AkqQJAyZDxcJgsHuqtTwa-HnCAarZ79kzX586F43hE23DAEWUvXU2QucHY2BJ1N11JXNRFOrtAuAgsivFHqjh4c8xM3gbG3COK69V-WTF7L-dggZHZCezLoqB1afSdBVXFhBui/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2HAQJy9AkqQJAyZDxcJgsHuqtTwa-HnCAarZ79kzX586F43hE23DAEWUvXU2QucHY2BJ1N11JXNRFOrtAuAgsivFHqjh4c8xM3gbG3COK69V-WTF7L-dggZHZCezLoqB1afSdBVXFhBui/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">it's Wednesday so that means one of two things: i either went to the barbershop today or i didn't go to the barbershop today.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i go to the barbershop every other Wednesday, and my calender told me that today was a fine day for a haircut. the only problem was that my barber struggled with his clippers.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">now, i've been with my barber for five years. and more often than naught, i look good once i leave the barbershop. so i can forgive a bad haircut... it just sucks when you get one. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">the hair actually looks fine but my shave was off. badly off. one half of my beard got a lighter shave than the other half. i looked like Two-Face... only with facial hair instead of the whole half-of-my-face-is-terribly-disfigured part.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i was left with three options:</span></span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">return to the barbershop and have my barber correct the problem.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">just wait for the hair on the left side of my face to catch up with the hair on the right side of my face.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">shave all of my facial hair.</span></span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i chose the third option.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">now, i have been rockin' facial hair for a long time. mostly because i don't like shaving.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">my skin is really sensitive so the razor does wonders for my complexion. i also have a bit of a baby face and i was just getting to the point in my life when i wasn't getting carded at every restaurant that i visited.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">so we'll see how this look works for me. first up though, i had to get a review from my biggest critic: Chastity.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"you look so weird, i can't even look at you," the fiance said. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">looks like i'll need to start growing my beard back.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Lady Gaga, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bESGLojNYSo">play us out</a>.</span></span>Dannyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18363866491690587514noreply@blogger.com0