The Yogurt Chronicles

the weapon of choice in Dub Squared Tres is pie

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 02:21:00 +0000

tonight Dub Squared Tres (World War 3) broke out in my living room.

it happens when your girlfriend is being obnoxious and you decide to throw some of your leftover pumpkin pie at her. then she throws some pie and you throw some more pie and then she manages to injure her ankle by running into the base of your bed.

the victor? me.

the casualties? many. our clothes are currently in the washer and there is no guarantee that they'll ever be the same again. my beige carpet was also hit hard so in a few months i guess we'll see if my scrubbing muscle saved my deposit.

BEP, play us out.

'00 Memories: Janet's boob and a comeback

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 19:06:00 +0000

it's the end of the decade so every website out there seems to be reflecting on the decade with top ten lists. this website will be no different.

earlier, i said that we'd be counting down the top 10 events of the 00s but we're going to switch it up a little bit.

instead i am going to count down the 10 sports stories that interested me the most. and since these are stories that interest me, there are likely going to be some odd additions to this list (see #9) while some big stories like the New England Patriots' three championships and cheating scandal will be omitted because i do not care.

there will be five entries associated with this countdown with two moments on each entry. all five entries might be posted today, they might be spread out until Friday. who knows? that's just how i roll.

onto the countdown...

10. The Wardrobe Malfunction Heard Around The World:
i was actually working at Dominos during the first half of Super Bowl XXXVIII and i walked into my dorm room a few minutes after the second half kicked off. but no one was watching the Patriots and Panthers do battle. instead my roommate and his friends were huddled around the room's two computers searching for already uploaded pictures of the halftime fiasco that included Justin Timberlake, Janet Jackson and some odd boob decoration.

what followed TWMHATW was a storm of insane-ness and i learned about something called the FCC so I guess Janet's boob taught me something about the government. TWMHATW also ruined the Super Bowl halftime show because pre-TWMHATW you could expect to see someone like Britney Spears doing her thing at halftime... this year, you can hear the people who sing the song that plays during the CSI: Miami intro.

in the end, this was a victory for the nursing home generation as the most talked about set of boobs in 2004 didn't belong to one of those hot Hollywood scarlets. they belonged to a washed-up 39-year-old. point, Team Old America.

and speaking of the Super Bowl, how good was this decade? six of the games were decided by seven points or less. for the most part, the commercials sucked but at least the games were pleasant.

9. Senior High Reaches Its Peak... In Week 4
once upon a time i was a back-up wide receiver for a terrible football team (is it sad that i was a back-up on a team that couldn't win?). the Senior High Broncs won about two games during my sophomore year and were an impressive 3-7 during my junior campaign. we probably could have been beaten by a junior high team from Texas.

but things changed in the off-season as an offensive coordinator was brought in to run our offense and we switched up our summertime schedule, opting for a camp in Colorado instead of the normal one in Utah.

the Broncs responded well to the change and started the 2002 season 2-1, losing a close game to Great Falls High and winning blowout contests against Missoula Hellgate and Helena High (and yours truly played his only six varsity plays in the Helena High game).

looking for a chance to go 3-1 (and for a program as awful as ours, this was a big deal), Senior lined up against Skyview and won a dramatic 32-28 game. it was the highlight of the season, one of the biggest moments of the program's history and i was actually featured in a photo on the newspaper website which had to be the first and only time that my existence on the football field was documented.

the Skyview game was the last highlight for the Broncs as... we went out and lost our next five games and missed the playoffs. the next year, when i was a freshman at UM, Senior went to the state championship game. jerks.

Janet and Michael, play us out.

Halle and Taraji P make for a good fantasy

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 03:42:00 +0000

i promised you three blogs so here is the third blog.

this week was the last week of the fantasy football season and i came out with "meh" results.

i started the season with four fantasy football teams and although my overall record was 29-26-1, i made the playoffs in the two leagues that matter to me.

in the SJI league, The Halle Berry Fan Club finished in third place which is impressive when you consider the fact that there are 20 teams in the league. in my Statesman league, The Taraji P. Henson Appreciation Society finished second which is impressive when you consider the fact that i get a $100 check for my silver medal.

so that's fantasy football for the 2009 season. i have really no reason to watch football next week although i could mosey on down to a sports bar to watch my Cleveland Browns as they try to extend their winning streak to four (now thats a miracle).

until baseball season...

Mariah Carey, play us out.

Quack quack quack quack quack quack!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 23:56:00 +0000

alright, now it's time for my post about the world of cinema.

first, a Denzel update. January 15th, mark it down people. Chastity also got me the Pelham 123 DVD for Christmas so hoorah for the holidays.

in non-Denzel related news, me and Chastity had a movie night last night and we watched The Mighty Ducks (my choice) and Jurassic Park (her choice). Jurassic Park was alright but if you want to see a good dinosaur movie, rent The Land Before Time. if the video store doesn't have a copy of TLBT, rent one of the 50 sequels. also, if you are still using a video store, please see me about moving into the 21st century.

i'd like to talk a little bit about The Mighty Ducks though.

i grew up loving the Ducks. the original movie: awesome. D2: great. D3: well, the first two movies were great. i'm no hockey fan but The Mighty Ducks was one of the better sports movies of my childhood (it was no Sandlot but, c'mon, at least it doesn't involve a dog playing football).

however, last night as i was watching the movie Chastity and i noticed a bunch of disturbing holes in the Mighty Ducks storyline. and i'm going to talk about them right now, Bullet Style.

Gordon Ramsey gets pulled over for drinking and driving. but who drinks and drives with a longneck bottle?
Gordon Ramsey doesn't get fired for an ugly DUI but he does get fired for not taking back a complaint on a youth hockey player? also, his law firm was willing to fire a lawyer who is 30-1 because of some random youth hockey player? also, how are you going to fire the lawyer who is coaching the team you sunk $15,000 into? ALSO, if you are a sponsor why wouldn't you want the top hockey player on the team you sunk $15,000 into?
so when Gordon gets suspended for his DUI, he also gets a driver (who for some reason goes from driving a limo to a mini-van but whatever...). the driver becomes an assistant coach on the team. if Gordon got fired, then he'd no longer need a driver. if the driver is still being employed by the law firm, why is he still an assistant coach on the team?
The Flying V would never work.
in real life, if someone actually started doing a triple lutz or whatever Tammy did before she scored her lone goal of the season, they'd have been clobbered.
Gordon and Charlie share a close bond throughout the series but Gordon only dated Charlie's mother in the first movie. that must have been awkward in D2 and D3.
Gordon asked the "What happened to your father?" question awfully early in the movie to Charlie. Gordon also said the "Which window is mine" line awfully early on the first date with Charlie's mother. i guess he just gets to the point quickly.
Charlie's mother looks outside her window to see her son in a tickle war in the snow with Coach Ramsey. she smiles. most mothers i know would have called the police.
Hans' skate shop was the size of a palace. i know it's Minnesota but there is no way business is booming that much.
the movie was set in Minnesota but i heard no Minnesota accents.
the Ducks have two girls on their roster. and the rest of the league has none. are the Ducks the only youth hockey team to embrace the gender-equality rules?
Gordon Ramsey quit playing hockey when he was 9. how does his old coach and some random NHL player who used to play with him immediately recognize him 20-some years later?
once again, Gordon Ramsey quit playing when he was 9 so how did he secure a minor league hockey tryout? i know some things come back to you but i quit playing the flute when i was 17 and there is no way that i could play five notes on that thing now.
how are all these kids in the same science class? and how many times can a team quit before he quits for good?
how did Goldberg become Dominik Hasek in the span of an hour?

that's all i've got. the movie is still awesome though. i'm waiting for D2 to come on the movie channel and then i can break down the awesome ridiculousness of Kenan Thompson playing the role of a hockey superstar.

my homies from Duckburg, play us out.

TWC and I might soon have a Biggie/Pac-like beef

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 20:39:00 +0000

i have three subjects to blog about today: TV, movies and sports. this first entry will be about TV.

i will start by saying that my network of choice (CBS) did not have a good 2009. well, at least the men didn't.

we all know about Dave's off-set issues but in the past month, Jonathan Togo of CSI: Miami and Charlie Sheen of Two and A Half Men fame got into a little trouble with the law. now this could be a big blow to my Monday night schedule which has already taken a hit with whatever nonsense CBS is putting on in the 7:30 slot.

Charlie Sheen is Two and a Half Men and if he goes away, then that show is just an annoying guy and a fat kid who i think probably should have graduated from college three years ago. and since Adam Rodriquez left CSI: Miami to "act" or something, Togo is now the worst actor in Miami so without him, the show might be taken seriously... ha ha, maybe i'm making up that last part. CSI: Miami is so awesomely terrible. i will die a little bit inside when that show is finally canceled.

but enough about CBS, let's talk about my "excellent" cable provider. and by "excellent", i mean, well, "not excellent."

i'm not really happy right now with the Time Warner Cable. i first signed up for the ol' TWC when i first moved to Austin and for the first two years my monthly bill was around $65. in the last six months, my rates have been raised twice and i paid $90 this last month. now the $25 difference is an annoyance but that's not the reason i'm mad because, ya know, a boy has got to be able to watch Jersey Shore on a weekly basis.

i'm not even mad that Time Warner doesn't get the NFL Network channel... even though that would be pretty awesome to have.

i am mad because TWC can't seem to get along with anybody. a couple of years ago they squabbled with NBC and so that channel was off the air for a couple of weeks. now, they are fighting with FOX and there is a chance that FOX won't be on the TWC dial after the New Year.

now, normally i wouldn't care about the disappearance of FOX because the channel is usually a lot of crap... but Idol debuts in January. i. swear. to. God. if i miss one episode of Idol, i am switching to AT&T. i am not missing the debut of the next Syesha Mercado because two giant corporations are squabbling over a couple of dollars.

Syesha Mercado, play us out.

and now Fantasia, do it better.

i'm guessing my Christmas won't be white

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 14:27:00 +0000

so it's the day before Christmas and i am no where near Montana.

for the second straight year, i decided to stay in Texas for Christmas. last year, i got to hang out with MK and this year, i will be spending the holidays with Chastity's family. i'm very fortunate that i have a friend and a girlfriend with generous families who opened their doors for me.

i had two reasons for not going home:

the tickets are ridiculously expensive and since i live in Montana, i'd essentially be paying an airline $700 to go have delayed flights and numerous flight problems over the next couple of days. add in the money spent on Christmas presents and partying it up in Billings (hint to having fun in Billings: stay drunk) and Christmas could have easily cost me around $1,500. spendy. and since my parents don't like to assist me with any of my expenses, that would be coming out of my paycheck which might be fine if it were not for "Reason B"...
my parents are divorced and they hate each other. luckily for me, they got divorced when i was in college so i've only had to deal with the shuffling between different houses on Christmas experience once. it sucked, it was depressing and i was miserable. i hated it and, if given the option, i told myself that i'd never do it again. honestly, if those two can't stomach each others' existence for a couple of hours for the good of the family, why should i give any effort?

so i stayed in Texas and honestly, i'm missing Montana a lot more than i thought i would.

i miss my friends who always descend on B-town for that forced yearly reunion. and i actually miss my family, even the stupid squabbles that will always happen on Christmas as one of the Davis kids would routinely push my stressed out mother over the edge. Anthony and Alyssa are both home and they brought home their significant others so i missed an opportunity to meet these people that i've only seen in Facebook pictures and heard about in text messages. young Blake was going to be in the house so i missed an opportunity to chill with him and i missed a chance to be around Noelle, who is growing up much quicker than i want her to. so, although i think my mind made the right decision about not going home, i think my heart might disagree a bit with this call.

i also miss the weather. it was 70 degrees here yesterday. so while i am reading Facebook messages about my northern friends and their travel issues and talking to my sister about sliding off the road on her way from Oklahoma to Montana, i am debating about whether or not i should wear a sweatshirt or not. it's supposed to dip into the...wait for it... 40s for Christmas but i doubt that this epic cold front will be bringing me a White Christmas (Texans are such wimps when it comes to weather. if it snowed down here, my guess is people would be thinking that the apocalypse will be visiting us before NYE. y2k has got nothing on an inch of snow.).

so that's that. i am grateful that the Colberts took me in for the holidays (there is a pumpkin pie rumor floating about!) and i am very happy that i get to spend time with the girl i love. but i miss Montana a bit more than i expected to. very odd.

Brian McKnight, play us out.

apparently the word "password" is a bad password

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 04:45:00 +0000

i was reading my friend Sara's blog and it appears that she got her Facebook account hacked onto by some spammer. i can empathize with Sara's plight because i too was recently a victim of Facebook hacking.

i have a Facebook application on my phone so sometime last week my phone started buzzing with these random comments. i had to investigate and i found out that the comments were in reply to a status that had been posted to my profile by someone who wasn't me.

the status read like this: "Damn I just recieved my free teeth whitener today and my teeth are so shiny and whitee! I feel like a new person, for those of you that are gonna ask were I got it, I got it at premiumwhite57.net use promo code: "SMILE".. you're welcome! :)"

(of course i didn't post this status update. the words "received" and "white" are misspelled and whoever posted this used the overrated practice of capitalization. chump.)

now i think i have a pretty good smile. my teeth aren't Mekhi Phifer-white but i think they're fine. however, as happy as i am with my smile, i don't think i'd brag about my grin on Facebook. that seems like a comment that would best be saved for the Twitter.

anyways, since my Facebook account was hacked, i had to change passwords. now with most of my passwords, i try to up the difficulty level to, at least, a C+ scale. Facebook, however, was always the easiest password to remember. it was "password" (which might explain why it was so easy to break into). so i changed the password and even though i changed it a week ago, i still type in "password" every single time i attempt to log onto my Facebook account. this hacking has really messed up by social networking skillz.

in other news, Brittany Murphy died. all i really remember about her was she was kinda hot for about 26 minutes and i liked her in 8 Mile. but i don't have much else to say so i am going to let some guy from the 515 wrap up this subject with an inappropriate joke.

Eminem, play us out.

i can call a timeout, can i coach the Griz?

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 05:19:00 +0000

UPDATE: Bobby Hauck will be the next coach at UNLV. hallelujah.

less than an hour after i watched the Griz lose to Villanova in the FCS championship game, i opened up the ol' Twitter account and there were a few tweets that were linking to this article.

honestly if UNLV wants Bobby Hauck, i hope they get him. i will fly back to Montana and help the Haucks pack up their house. because the sooner Hauck goes to UNLV, the sooner he can fail and the sooner he can fade into oblivion.

it's been long rumored that Bobby Hauck will eventually be a head coach at a major school. My boy made a case for Robert's rise today on his blog. well, i say "rubbish." Bobby Hauck will never be the head coach at a major university.

now i have mixed emotions about Bobby Hauck. while at the Kaimin we had a few good interactions but i also had some very unpleasant run-ins with him. he can be both a good guy and a complete jerk. but my feelings about his next job aren't personal, i just don't think he is good enough to coach at a big school.

sure, Hauck is 80-11 in his seven seasons in Missoula but 47 of those wins have come in the Big Sky Conference. beating Northern Colorado and Eastern Washington on a yearly basis is not the same thing as playing USC and Oregon (Hauck is 1-2 against BSC teams with the lone victory being a 2003 win over mighty Idaho). i don't know how much stock we should take in the fact that Hauck owns a team like Idaho State because, well, i cover about three or four high school teams that could own Idaho State.

Hauck is 11-7 in the playoffs with a 0-3 mark in the championship game. i'm sorry but for a hot coaching candidate, that's unacceptable. Montana is annually ranked among the top teams in the nations and three times Hauck has been out-coached in the championship game and his team has flown back to Missoula as losers. and since it takes three wins to get to the title game, that means in Hauck's four non-title game seasons, he's 2-4 in the playoffs and has suffered three first-round losses at home.

Bobby's coaching brilliance was on fine display tonight in the fourth quarter of a 23-21 loss to Villanova. down by nine points, Hauck had three time outs but inexplicably let 'Nova run the clock down before the Wildcats were forced to punt the ball away. Montana got the ball back with about two minutes left and although they scored with a minute left, too much time had ticked away for the Griz to have an actual shot at a miracle comeback.

now i don't coach. i haven't ran a route on the football field in seven years. but i know that Hauck should have started calling timeouts on that time-killing drive. my friends who were sending me angry text messages knew it. anybody who has ever played a game of NCAA Football 2010 or Madden 1997 knows that you have to take a timeout. Bobby Hauck did not know it (but, in all fairness, maybe he was letting the clock run down because he had a Vegas-bound plane to catch)

to pile on his inability to put his hands into a "T" formation, Hauck doesn't have a great off-field resume. he has a history of recruiting players who, well, aren't Missoula's finest (he'd be perfect at UNLV) and there was that whole incident with the Kaimin this year (sorry Villanova but the Kaimin was the biggest winner tonight). so yea, i guess i can see why a big-time program would like to hand the keys to their program to a guy who can't win a big game and has had trouble installing discipline and maintaining control of the UNIVERSITY OF MONTANA football program.

but whatever, i don't know why i am arguing so much against Bobby Hauck. i want him to get another job. i want him to leave Missoula and never look back.

but i have a feeling that is one wish that Santa isn't going to fulfill this year so i guess i can look forward to three of four more years of unmet expectations and COPS: Missoula.

sigh. i need to go to bed.

Queen, play us out.

Fist Pumping for Dummies

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 22:40:00 +0000

JSQOTW: "We're beating up the beat, that's what we say when we're doing our fist pump... That beat is hitting us so we're fighting back. It's like we beat up that beat." - Pauly D.

and go Griz.

when Twittering and blogging goes bad

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 23:16:00 +0000

my boy William Oram inspired me to pen these words.

i have two blogs at work that i frequently contribute to and y'all know how much i update this thing. i have a work Twitter account that gets dozens of updates from me each week and a personal Twitter account that i really only use to give Reading Rainbow some much-needed love.

i love blogging. i love Twittering. occasionally these two things are evil.

by now, you've probably heard about Deadspin.com. if you haven't, you must live in a cave. anyways, it's a major sports blog which has plenty of information on it. it's a place where you go to get sports news and while most of the content is nonsense, some of it is really good. heck, you can probably credit Deadspin with putting the recent Kaimin controversy on a national stage. i visit the website on a daily basis and i like about 50% of its content (i actually like when Deadspin pokes fun at the media but its podcast had to be one of the bigger disappointments of 2009).

people often think that blogs like Deadspin will spell the death of newspapers. i disagree, mainly because a website like Deadspin just recycles other people's work so if we aren't supplying the news, these blogs won't have much information to publish.

but the main reason i don't think that these online blogs and gossip websites will kill off the mainstream media is the accountability factor.

see, blogs aren't held accountable to anyone. if some random gossip website gets a story wrong about Britney Spears, who cares? there's a reason why TMZ has been kicking so much butt on the Tiger Woods coverage because while legitimate news organizations have to, ya know, wait for confirmation, TMZ can go ahead and publish anything it wants to. if TMZ gets a story wrong (and to their credit, they've been getting a lot of stuff right), nobody cares because it's TMZ. this would never happen in the New York Times because not even Jayson Blair (the subject of my senior seminar project) is that stupid... but it's Life and Style Magazine so, pssh, whatever.

Deadspin has had a lot of problems with this whole accountability issue over the past month or so.

In November, running off a tip from a reader, Deadspin wrote a short story about Arizona State baseball coach Pat Murphy that, well, wasn't true and Deadspin was left back-peddling. Either yesterday or today, Deadspin gave a shout-out to a Twitter account that was attempting to break the news of Chris Henry's death and... well, that Twitter account turned out to be fake and the breaking news was a few hours premature.

here's the difference between Deadspin and the American-Statesman. if Deadspin publishes a ridiculously inaccurate/untrue story, people just roll their eyes and wait for the next joke about Tiger Woods to be made. if i made a mistake like that, i would be praying to God for a suspension although i'd imagine a firing would be in my immediate future.

so yea, that is all i have to say on this subject. now if you'll excuse me, i've got to go play the role of "a source close to Fergie" for a hot gossip story that needs to hit the web.

Black Eyed Peas, play us out.

NOW that's what i kind of call music

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 00:53:00 +0000

since i was home today, i rolled through the DVR while i was writing a story for work. during one of my shows (which was likely Jersey Shore) i saw a commercial for NOW 32. i have never felt older.

i remember being in 7th or 8th grade and having the original NOW compilation on cassette. i thought i was, as my Olive Garden waiter would put it, da bomb. I mean, there was some Hanson, there was some Aqua and, ya know, there was some K-Ci and Jojo to seduce all the jr. high hunnies with. i also bought the NOW 4 CD so i've rocked out to Candy a time or two and i sung this song to my first-ever girlfriend.

now the game plan behind NOW CDs were brilliant. you trick dumb teenagers into buying these CDs with like three good songs on it but in exchange for those three hits, you also got 17 stinkers. i mean, let's look at some of the players on the NOW 6 line-up, which i also owned: N'SYNC's Bye Bye Bye (good), Destiny's Child's Independent Women, Part I (alright), Jennifer Lopez' Love Don't Cost A Thing (but this CD sure does) and Evan and Jaron's Crazy for This Girl (gag). sounds like a wise way to spend $15.

eventually i got a CD burner and then i got an iPod so the value of a NOW CD decreased for me and i'm guessing that's the case with most people. i knew that they were making them still but the fact that they have made 31 of these things (and that's not including the things like the NOW Dance Mix 16) since i was rolling around with that cassette amazes me.

and since i'm stuck in bed with nothing better to do, i am going to put together an all-time NOW CD. yes, 32 songs from 32 NOW mixes on one CD. oh yea, this is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Anytime by Brian McKnight (NOW 1)
Hard Knock Life by Jay-Z (NOW 2)
Sometimes by Britney Spears (NOW 3)
I Knew I Loved You by Savage Garden (NOW 4)
Faded by soulDecision (NOW 5)
It Wasn't Me by Shaggy (NOW 6)
What Would You Do? by City High (NOW 7)
I'm Real by Jennifer Lopez f/ Ja Rule (NOW 8)
Differences by Ginuwine (NOW 9)
Underneath Your Clothes by Shakira (NOW 10)
Hot In Herre by Nelly (NOW 11)
Air Force Ones by Nelly (NOW 12)
Rock Your Body by Justin Timberlake (NOW 13)
Senorita by Justin Timberlake (NOW 14)
I Don't Want You Back by Eamon (NOW 15)
Hey Ya by Outkast (NOW 16)
Baby It's You by Jojo (NOW 17)
Soldier by Destiny's Child (NOW 18)
Switch by Will Smith (NOW 19)
Don't Cha by The Pussycat Dolls (NOW 20)
My Humps by Black Eyed Peas (NOW 21)
When You're Mad by Ne-Yo (NOW 22)
Promiscuous by Nelly Fertado (NOW 23)
My Love by Justin Timberlake (NOW 24)
Buy U A Drank by T-Pain (NOW 25)
Hey There Delilah by Plain White T's (NOW 26)
Love Like This by Natasha Bedingfield (NOW 27)
Lollipop by Lil' Wayne (NOW 28)
Forever by Chris Brown (NOW 29)
Miss Independent by Ne-Yo (NOW 30)
Poker Face by Lady Gaga (NOW 31)
Whatcha Say by Jason DeRulo (NOW 32)

so there's one mega CD. congrats America for giving us such great music over the past 10 years.

Brian McKnight, play us into the play out song.

John Legend, play us out.

celebrating a big fantasy win in bed

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 14:19:00 +0000

JSQOTW: "That's what I like, a good guy and a jerkoff. It's all in the same." - Snooki

anyways, the good news is i've advanced to the semifinals in the playoffs of the two fantasy football leagues that matter to me. i've already guaranteed myself $50 in the Statesman league and am one win away from a $100 paycheck and two wins away from the $300 prize.

i've had an interesting year in the Statesman league. in week six, i scored only 25 points which was an all-time league record for the lowest amount of points scored in a week. this week, facing the same opponent in the first round of the playoffs, i scored 172 points, which is the third-highest weekly total in league history. so, yea i've been hitting up the record books left and right this season.

but instead of spending my Tuesday celebrating the wins of The Taraji P. Henson Appreciation Society and the Halle Berry Fan Club, i am spending the day in bed. i'm sick and it sucks.

let me tell you how my night went.

i hopped into bed around 11 p.m. and starred at the ceiling for about an hour. unable to sleep and not wanting to bother Chastity with my coughing, sneezing and twisting, i moved on over to the loveseat in the living room. after about 45 minutes there, i wandered back into the bedroom. i spent another hour in there before i went and dug out my sleeping bag and camped out on the living room floor. of course, that didn't work so after a while i ended up back in the bedroom... where i finally fall asleep for what seemed like three hours... but was, at most, 60 minutes. and the rest of my night consisted of me wandering through my apartment and twisting and turning in my bed.

i don't know how i didn't wake up Chastity. that girl can apparently sleep through everything except for my snoring.

the sickness sucks. it's like one nostril is stuffy and the other is runny. i have bad gas but i can't take a shit and my breath smells like puke but i can't throw up. my head hurts and my throat is doing me no favors either.

i feel like death and i look even worse.

luckily, Chastity only has work until 1:30 so she'll be able to take care of me soon. until then, i will be watching South Park episodes, eating oranges, drinking tea and working on Statesman stuff from afar.

Vitamin C, play us out.

date night with my Evangeline

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 18:09:00 +0000

so i had my first Friday off since August and me and Chastity decided to go on a date night. now, most date nights consist of dinner and either a movie or a fun activity but this past week we went on an extreme date night.

we started things off at the Olive Garden. now, all the food snobs (Chastity included) will scoff at this dining selection but as anyone from Billings can attest, you only go to the Garden with people you love. seriously, Chastity should be shocked that i didn't propose to her on Friday because Olive Garden is the place you go before you make a life-altering decision. nothing says "I Love You" like endless soup and breadsticks.

so we went to the Garden and i had the Tour of Italy and a strawberry mango margarita (because my waiter said it was the bomb) and Chastity had something with shrimp. it was delicious. yum. i also got embarrassed in an Angel Tree argument as i argued that it made no sense for The Olive Garden to have an Angel Tree because it's not like church or work where you are reminded weekly about the gift you have to bring back... and as i argued this, some ladies walked in with three big bags from Target full of gifts. point, God.

after the Garden, Chastity and i went to The Princess and the Frog. before i get to the review, i will state that me and Chastity both had a choice of what we wanted to do on the date and the movie was my choice.

now, this movie wasn't as good as an Aladdin or a Beauty and the Beast but it was some old school Disney goodness. the animation was beautiful, the storyline was solid and the music was decent. i'm going to give it a $7 rating, which is only a dolla below Denzel territory. if you have a kid, i suggest you go see this movie. also, if you don't have a kid, i suggest you go see this movie.

after the movie, we went to go see D.L. Hughley perform at the Cap Center Comedy Club (C to the quad for short). it was a very good show. the opening act was solid and although the lady comic was terrible, D.L. made up for it with a great performance that lasted for about 90 minutes. i was thoroughly entertained. i need to start going to more comedy shows.

twas a good date night.

Eric Clapton, play us out.

MTV deals my world another fantasy loss

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 00:34:00 +0000

i'm sure you've all been wondering who won The Fantasy MTV Challenge between me and Robyn so i am going to tell you so you can sleep peacefully at night. The Mighty Cucamongas (Robyn's team) took its first lead of the season on the final week and held on to beat The Velociraptors 1,222-1,117.

The difference was made in the final challenge as the Mighty Cucamongas had three players on the winning Champions team while The Velociraptors only had two. The Cucamongas also got an assist from Susie over the past three weeks as the blond bomber collected 180 points to add to the 130 points she had scored in the previous seven weeks. The Velociraptors were led by Johnny Banana's 320 points this season.

in other MTV news, the newest season of the Real World debuts on December 30 and i can't be any less excited about spending Wednesdays in the D.C. area. there are no hot chicks (for like a third straight season) and judging from the previews, the only drama seems to exist with the African American roommate. i'll probably watch a couple of episodes but if nothing exciting happens or if Pat doesn't show up and sleep with one of the roommates, i'm out.

so until the next Challenge happens (i hear it will be another Fresh Meat season), i will be hanging out on the Jersey Shore. so far, i've watched the two-hour premiere and last week's episode is waiting for me on the DVR. this. show. is. awesome. sure, i can see how some advertisers are pulling their ads from this show and how some people are offended by this show, but the doucheness is oozing so much out of this trainwreck (even though MTV is pulling this scene) that i can't help put devote an hour of my time to it each week.

so today, i'd like to introduce a new feature on the TYC which i will call the "Jersey Shore Quote of the Week" (JSQOTW for short). from the episode debut, Angelina gave us this doozy: "This job is beneath me. I'm a bartender, I do great things."

People I'm Intrigued By: Michael Jackson

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 23:41:00 +0000

why Michael?

well... he died... his funeral was covered by TV stations ranging from CBS to CNN to MTV... and a movie documenting his tour practices was released.

Michael Jackson was the subject of arguably the biggest news story of the year and his death brought some actual good music to the tops of the iTunes chart (how is Owl City currently still in the top 5 on iTunes!?! America, your taste in music sucks). that is intriguing to me.

to recap, these were the ten people who intrigued me this year...

Michael Jackson
Miley Cryus
Kanye West
David Letterman
A-Rod
Pat from Real World: Cancun
Lindsay Lohan
Anika Nori Rose
Will Ferrell
Tiger Woods

Michael Jackson, play us out.

People I'm Intrigued By: Miley Cyrus

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 23:24:00 +0000

why Miley?

because she has to be the only 17-year-old who makes news when she doesn't want to Twitter. plus, she seems to do nothing but take jailbait pictures of herself (seriously, if you feel like being a creep today, google image "Miley Cyrus"), apparently likes to mock Asians and her dad is, well, this. Miley Cyrus is pretty much a Lindsay Lohan-in-waiting and this inevitable trainwreck is going to be awesome to watch.

and she also has this song that i still love.

Miley Cyrus, play us out.

People I'm Intrigued By: Kanye West

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 04:55:00 +0000

we're down to the final three people who intrigued me in 2009... so let's talk about Person No. 3.

why Kanye?

because he's awesome. and let me tell you why...

in September, he put that overrated pop princess in her place.
one of his songs helped lift Kris Allen to the American Idol title.
we found out that he doesn't like Fishsticks.
his concert tour with Lady Gaga that was cancelled. that would have been an awesome show.
Kanye somehow didn't get a Grammy nomination for 808s and Heartbreak (which came out in late 2008) but he was doing all sorts of collaberations so the Grammys won't shut my boy out. 'Ye was like John Stockton this year, dishing out assists this year to Keri Hilson, Kid Cudi, Jay-Z and Drake.

good year Kanye, i look forward to an even better 2010.

Kanye West, play us out.

People I'm Intrigued By: David Letterman

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 04:04:00 +0000

why David Letterman?

well, Dave had an interesting 2009. he got into a little argument with that media-hungry chick who isn't Heidi Montag. he saw his ratings go up when Jay Leno went off to go do that crapfest at 9 p.m. (Jay, it's not wise to move into the same time slot as CSI: Miami. son, i could have told you that). and then there was that whole blackmail/sex scandal thing.

i've always liked Dave more than i liked Jay. sure, usually only like three or four of the Top 10 jokes are funny but at least they're funny. i could watch an entire hour of Leno and my poker face would not flinch.

plus, Dave owns land in Montana and his interviews are usually interesting since he isn't afraid to throw out a tough/awkward question or two. granted, listening to Paul Schaffer talk is the equivalent to nails on a chalkboard but, whatever, Dave is funny so i'll keep watching.

Keri Hilson and 'Ye, play us out.

People I'm Intrigued By: A-Rod

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:11:00 +0000

why Alex Rodriguez?

he started the year with Madonna. gross.
he had the year's biggest steroid scandal.
he made out with his reflection.
he's dating the second-best looking actress from Bride Wars.
he was actually clutch in the postseason and won a World Series.

Madonna, play us out.

People I'm Intrigued By: Pat

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 14:49:00 +0000

why Pat from Real World: Cancun?

because he may have had the greatest Real World season of all time and he wasn't even a member of the cast.

to recap, he was able to seduce three of the four female roommates, ruined two relationships and broke two hearts (and he did this while being a pretty average-looking dude). he also got a lot of publicity for what seemed like mediocre DJing skills and was on screen more than house residents Bronne, Emilee, CJ or Derek. once again, Pat was not a member of the Cancun cast.

he may have been the breakout star of 2009.

Che'Nelle, play us out.

People I'm Intrigued By: Lindsay Lohan

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 14:14:00 +0000

as a prelude to this post, i need to backtrack and talk about the No. 10 person on my list of intrigue. Tiger, i get that you are apparently nailing everyone but c'mon bro, were you really, really, really, really, really drunk when you got with the sixth/last person on this article's slideshow? for the world's most powerful athlete, you might have the worst game ever.

anyways, talking about trainwrecks, let's talk about the seventh person on my list on intrigue.

why Lindsay Lohan?

because she hasn't done anything of merit since at least 2004 and i honestly can't get enough news about her.

let's start with her family: her dad apparently records everyone's phone calls and was friends with the father who love Ed Hardy, her mom just doesn't seems like a good person and her teenage sister looks like she's 30. after talking about the family, you can spend hours debating who is worst at picking up ladies: Tiger or Lindsay (seriously, what were you two thinking?). and, of course, what conversation can you have about Lindsay Lohan without talking about the much-publicized problems with substance abuse and weight issues.

but the reason i'm intrigued the most about Lindsay is it seems that the crazier Lindsay Lohan gets, the hotter she becomes. i mean, there is a reason that Lindsay was inducted into the Big Board of Beauties alongside my favorite child of Destiny in September of 2008. she's no GU or TN but, man, crazy Lindsay has got something going on.

Lindsay Lohan, play us out (yes, she sings too).

People I'm Intrigued By: Anika Noni Rose

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 14:39:00 +0000

first off, i'd like to say that i'm thankful that my friend and co-worker Erika is safe after a bad car accident earlier this week. wear your seat belts kids.

but why am i intrigued by Anika Noni Rose?

well, aside from the fact that she was better than Beyonce a few years ago in Dreamgirls, ANR has a little movie coming out next week. yes folks, Team Black America is finally getting a Disney princess.

granted, this decision is coming like 20 years too late (seriously, Disney did Hercules and the Hunchback of Notre Dame before they did this movie) but we'll take it since we've had to claim Jasmine as one of ours since she was flying around with Aladdin 17 years ago (yea, that movie came out in 1992, how old do you feel now?).

if had a 6-year-old daughter, i'd take her to this movie on opening night... but since i don't i guess i'll be playing the role of Creepy Older Dude on opening night. what can i say, i love me some Disney movies.

Ne-Yo, play us out.

People I'm Intrigued By: Will Ferrell

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 21:18:00 +0000

why Will Ferrell?

because i don't understand how he keeps getting work. he was great in small doses on SNL and he was really funny in Old School and Wedding Crashers. when he was a lead actor he did oh k in Anchorman and Talladega Nights but he also had good supporting casts.

but let's review some of Will's fine work over the past three years (which, luckily for him, didn't include that Bewitched disaster which came out in 2005)...

Stranger than Fiction
Blades of Glory
Semi-Pro
Step Brothers
Old Dogs (wait, he wasn't in that crapfest? shocker.)

that brings us to Land of the Lost, which was supposed to be one of the bigger summertime movies. flop.

but, as the unemployment rate continues to produce ugly numbers, Will Ferrell has two movies scheduled for a 2010 release. life is not fair.

Haddaway, play us out.

People I'm Intrigued By: Tiger Woods

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 15:01:00 +0000

since it's December, a lot of TV channels and news organizations will resort to remembering the 2009 calendar and the '00 decade. it's lazy programming but it's worked for vh1 over the last 10 years so why not try it elsewhere.

we're no different here at the TYC so today we will be releasing the first two installments in our series "People I'm Intrigued By" which will be a top 10 countdown of people who i thought had an interesting 2009. hey, if Babs can have a similar special on the TV, then i can have one on my blog.

later this month, i'll countdown the top 10 stories of this decade.

anyways, check back later today to see who checks in as my ninth most intriguing person of 2009. but until then, check out who came in at No. 10... Tiger Woods.

Why Tiger? well, he was a late addition to the group but the fact that he pulls so much weight that he's a golfer and his car accident and marital problems are leading off nightly national newscasts is intriguing to me. he's the only golfer worth following on the Tour and i'm sure most people could tell you how he finished in the four majors before they could actually tell you who won those events.

Simba, play us out.

Scrub-ing a show from my DVR rotation

noreply@blogger.com (Danny) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 05:09:00 +0000

i can't usually stomach most of Jason Whitlock's work but he has a column about the Tiger Woods fiasco that is worth a read. interesting.

as i was sitting in the office on Tuesday, a shocking revelation came to me. i had forgot to set my DVR to tape the season premiere of the new season of Scrubs. i began to formulate a plan of attack since i would not be home to watch the show live. i could run home and set the DVR or i could call Chastity and ask her to record it at her house.

i chose to not record Scrubs.

i have a lot of TV shows that i watch and for the last couple of years, Scrubs was in the rotation. i wandered upon a cheap copy of the first season of the show one day at Best Buy a few summers ago and i immediately liked the show. it was funny and well-written and some of the episodes were really gut-wrenching and brilliant. i now own all eight seasons of the show on DVD.

eventually there comes a time in each show's life when it begins to suck. for example, my all-time favorite show began to go downhill when that damn Raven-Symone showed up on set. Scrubs began to falter a few seasons ago and, with the exceptions of a couple decent episodes, last year was pretty unbearable.

this is why i am not going to keep watching Scrubs. i don't even know if i'd be able to watch the show if it was business as usual but they are bringing in a whole new cast and a whole new setting (pretty much, the Scrubs doctors are now running a medical school and the new interns/students are the focus of the show). Carla is done, the Janitor has ignored his final restroom, Elliot won't be seen much and J.D. is only signed on for a few episodes because, i guess, Zach Braff has a lot going on these days. how is this show going to be any good!?!?

maybe the ninth season of Scrubs will be great but i won't know. in my mind, that show had it's series finale last May.

Lazlo Bane, play us out.